Well this one’s come out of the wild depths of nowhere. Former Bachelorette winner (we guess) and Sophie Monk‘s swiftly-punted ex Stu Laundy has sensationally admitted that he used to steal flowers from grave sites to give to women he was going on dates with. How’s that for a goddamned string of English-language words?
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Laundy, appearing on Sami Lukis‘s podcast Romantically Challenged, owned up to the phenomenally fucking bizarre habit without prompt, completely of his own free will, and virtually out of bloody nowhere.
Laundy, who is absurdly not-poor, was talking with Lukis about his old-fashioned romantic inclinations, which extended to bringing women flowers when going on dates. Cue: the left turn of the century.
I’ll tell you a funny story with flowers.
When I was a kid I didn’t live far from Rookwood cemetery, so that was always where I would drive through to get to work. I had free flowers basically.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yep. Sure.
Lukis, quite rightly, questioned the absurd admission by blurting “You used to steal flowers from gravesites to give to girls you were dating?” to which Laundy, rather than winding back after realising this might be one of those things you should probably never tell any other human being ever, instead fully committed to the yarn by offering up “Mrs Smith, may she rest in peace. She had a lot of visitors and always a lot of flowers.”
Normal. Absolutely normal behaviour. The most thunderously normal thing. Good grief.
Aside from the obvious thousand-odd questions that any sane person would have upon learning this, Laundy’s admission of being a “kid” is where we’re nitpicking here.
If he drove through the graveyard – drove, in a car – you are not a kid. You are, at the extreme least, seventeen years old. Old enough to realise that pinching fuchsias from Nan’s grave is both a massive dick move and also an express pass to some real bad juju.
But also, mate. Your family’s rich as shit. You can afford your own flowers.
Bloody hell.
