“We won! Our families are going to be so proud,” said Proud Mum Bree, the garrulous one with a predilection for adding ‘babe’ to the end of every sentence. “This has been the most amazing thing to ever happen to us in our whole lives”, added Proud Mum Jessica, momentarily forgetting that the husbands and children they’d endlessly harped on about were in the same room.
Though ostensibly the winners of $250,000, the inexplicably-popular, highly-doctored reality program’s real victor was ‘not being a terrible person’.
The real prize then was seeing runners-up Chloe and Kelly – a self-professed ‘well-travelled’ gourmet traveller chimera, whose only redeeming quality was an unparalleled ability to talk about Chloe and Kelly – deprived of the title they felt was so strongly theirs by birthright, editing and by virtue of owning a passport.
“We were happy that we were against the best in the grand final and you proved that tonight,” conceded Chloe in defeat. “Definitely,” added Kelly, a vision of eloquent sportsmanship.
The overall winner, arguably, is Channel Seven, whose marquee cooking show was watched by more than 3.7 million metropolitan and regional viewers at its peak – the biggest TV audience of the year to date.
MKR has been renewed for another season of home cooking histrionics, Manu’s questionable velvet blazers, and variations on this face:
