Like many of you, I dedicated a portion of my morning to reading GQ’s rather interesting interview with Robert Pattinson. To those blissfully unaware of such a thing, Pattinson is on the cover of GQ’s June / July issue. He even shot the portraits himself (considering the world’s current situation). There’s a lot to pull out from the interview, like how Pattinson once replied to a personal text from French director Claire Denis with “hahahaha”, or how he spent a good portion of the interview showing GQ’s Zach Baron how to blow your microwave up making “fast-food” pasta. Anyway, the interview has spawned hundreds and hundreds of reactions and I must show you my favourites. This interview is all I can think about today.
Firstly, the story itself.
Presenting GQ’s June/July cover star: Robert Pattinson.
See all the self-portraits by Robert Pattinson and read the story by @ZachBaron here: https://t.co/EPzPWk2vTH pic.twitter.com/2IZ75xJ3gE
— GQ Magazine (@GQMagazine) May 12, 2020
If you’re saving the profile for later, I’ll summarise the main bit – the pasta bit. Last year, Pattinson had a business idea: “How do you make a pasta which you can hold in your hand?” He wants to make a fast-food version of pasta. A sort of pasta… burger. So he attempted to make his fast-food pasta for Baron. Here is a tiny snippet of how that went.
He puts on latex gloves. He pulls out some sugar and some aluminum foil and makes a bed, a kind of hollowed-out sphere, with the foil. He holds up a box of penne pasta that he had in the house. “All right,” Pattinson says. “So obviously, first things first, you gotta microwave the pasta.”
And so it begins.
Robert Pattinson on cooking in quarantine: https://t.co/EPzPWk2vTH pic.twitter.com/pmhdLLOmog
— GQ Magazine (@GQMagazine) May 12, 2020
I’ve lost it, I’ve absolutely lost it.
robert pattinson texting claire denis “hahahaha” after she tells him something personal pic.twitter.com/YMBxEGg5BE
— iana murray (@ianamurray) May 12, 2020
Robert Pattinson making breakfast pic.twitter.com/2qjd1Ysrw9
— cassidy xcx (@olsencassidy) May 12, 2020
Self-isolation inspiration from Robert Pattinson. pic.twitter.com/kOzVx0GtXQ
— Lost In Film (@LostInFilm) May 12, 2020
This next one made me snort.
sure why not let robert pattinson style his own fashion shoot from quarantine what could go wrong pic.twitter.com/7vZGcfYZaC
— Sarah Dollard (@snazdoll) May 12, 2020
Live footage of Robert Pattinson making a “pasta pillow” pic.twitter.com/r1OSA9xMYK
— Olivia Truffaut-Wong (@iWatchiAm) May 12, 2020
robert pattinson making pasta pic.twitter.com/I7R0gveAGb
— Kate Halliwell (@katehalliwell) May 12, 2020
i cant explain why the image of a blurry pixelated unshaven robert pattinson confused about how to work technology is so funny to me pic.twitter.com/yQ4dQNwjYB
— dajour prescott (@selahspades) May 12, 2020
sorry how is it robert pattinson can cook sugar & cheese pasta in the fucking microwave and you lot are still wet hot and spicy for him but when i do it it’s “we’re getting concerned” and “are you sure you’re coping okay”
— Beth McColl (@imbethmccoll) May 12, 2020
We have questions. #RobertPattinson
— Buitoni (@BuitoniUSA) May 12, 2020
Buitoni make pasta, like real pasta.
Up next is a genuine question.
Ok but has anyone figured out what pasta shape Robert Pattinson was talking about?
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) May 13, 2020
Everyone is like, “Omg Robert Pattinson doesn’t know how to make pasta,” guys Robert Pattinson doesn’t know where he is
— G. L. (@gldivittorio) May 13, 2020
There are two kinds of quarantine cooking: Florence Pugh and Robert Pattinson. pic.twitter.com/fIAn70uZoA
— Andrea Towers ⧗ (@_atowers) May 12, 2020
the fact that robert pattinson’s been trending worldwide for a whole DAY simply for cooking a terrible pasta dish that’s how u know quarantine got us all fucked up
— sophie (@nbcwiII) May 12, 2020
Oh my GOD, do you guys remember this?
Robert Pattinson once made up a story on the Today show about how his parents took him to the circus & a clown died during it. when Matt Lauer asked him how the clown died he said “His little car exploded. The joke car exploded on him.” Do you think I’m surprised about his pasta?
— Sara Schaefer (@saraschaefer1) May 12, 2020
He really is just screwing with us.
Y’all out here being basic in 2020 making banana bread while Robert Pattinson is WAY ahead of us in the future with Sugar Cheese Microwave Pasta SMDH
— Niccole Thurman (@niccolethurman) May 12, 2020
All I want is a Bon Appetit Gourmet Makes “Claire makes Robert Pattinson’s chaotic microwave pasta” https://t.co/vlkOPWma4e
— Mel Woods (@intothemelwoods) May 12, 2020
Good shit. Good shit.