First up, we have taken approximately none for the team and gone
through a whole lot of movie trailers – a task which only people who dislike bubble wrap could hate – to bring you our picks of
the Summer Blockbusters coming soon to a cinema near you. …And by
‘Blockbusters’ we mean those relatively large budget movies that
will come out during the summer months for which you will willingly hand
over those hard-earned ‘double time and a half’ dollars, because air-conditioning and good times!
Telstra currently has a prepaid situation with free calls and texts 6pm-6am. How do you usually organise a movie trip with m8s? With your mobile telephone. And
when do you usually go to see movies? After 6pm? Correct; particularly
in summer, when your daylight hours are spent gallivanting across grassy
expanses and splashing in large bodies of water. See? Now it all makes
sense!
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
Director Francis Lawrence
Synopsis Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark become targets of the Capitol after their victory in the 74th Hunger Games sparks a rebellion in the Districts of Panem.
Why we’re excited
This, dare we say, looks even better than its predecessor. Variety‘s Peter Debruge has already said that the sequel “rewrites the rules, which not only makes for a more exciting death match, but also yields a rich sociopolitical critique in the process.” Plus, you know, sexy action fun times feat. Hemsworth x Lawrence x Hutcherson sandwich.
Opens 21st November, 2013
Filth
Director Jon S. Baird
Synopsis A bipolar, bigoted junkie cop manipulates and hallucinates his way through the festive season in a bid to secure promotion and win back his wife and daughter.
Why we’re excited Well, it’s all in the synopsis and trailer, right? Adventures of Junkie Cop! This looks completely debauched and is all ‘THIS ES SCOTLEND!’ and we’re all ‘yyyeaaaahyeh das cooooo’!’.
Opens 21st November, 2013
Kill Your Darlings
Director John Krokidas
Synopsis A murder in 1944 draws together the great poets of the beat generation: Allen Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac and William Burroughs.
Why we’re excited Daniel Radcliffe is all grown up and doing sexuals with other grown ups; meanwhile, this true story of Ginsberg, Kerouac and Burroughs looks fascinating, gripping and potentially psychologically thrilling.
Opens 5th December, 2013
American Hustle
Director David O. Russell
Synopsis A con man, Irving Rosenfeld, along with his seductive British partner Sydney Prosser is forced to work for a wild FBI agent Richie DiMaso. DiMaso pushes them into a world of Jersey powerbrokers and mafia.
Why we’re excited Fresh from his Silver Linings Playbook success David O. Russell takes on a gritty story filled with many fantastic actors, with many fantastic hair pieces and it just looks like a great ol’ time. Also, this still:
Opens 12th December, 2013
Anhchorman 2: The Legend Continues
Director Adam McKay
Synopsis With the 70s behind him, San Diego’s top rated newsman, Ron Burgundy, returns to take New York’s first 24-hour news channel by storm.
Why we’re excited Yes, perhaps the aggressively thorough marketing campaign has worked on us. Maybe we just liked the first one because it gave us dumb shit to quote forever and we want more of the same. Perchance it looks like a great hangover/still boozed option. Either way, there’s definitely a good chance that they’re going to completely flog the legend of Anchorman to death and it will be a substandard mess; 100% still going to watch though.
Opens 19th December, 2013
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
Director Ben Stiller
Synopsis A day-dreamer escapes his anonymous life by disappearing into a world of fantasies filled with heroism, romance and action. When his job along with that of his co-worker are threatened, he takes action in the real world embarking on a global journey that turns into an adventure more extraordinary than anything he could have ever imagined.
Why we’re excited Kristen Wiig, Sean Penn, Shirley MacLaine and Ben Stiller hanging out in a film that looks both visually stimulating and completely #inspo. There is a 100% chance that you will want to quit your day job and Eat, Partay, Love your way around the world immediately after viewing.
Opens 26th December, 2013
The Railway Man
Director Jonathan Teplitzky
Synopsis A victim from World War II’s “Death Railway” sets out to find those responsible for his torture. A true story.
Why we’re excited Well, because we enjoy harrowing, period dramas based on a true story and starring Colin Firth, Nicole Kidman and Stellan Skarsgård
as much as the next person. This looks like it could go either way: an Oscar-worthy triumph or JB Hi Fi bargain bin bound.
Opens 26th December,
2013
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Director Peter Jackson
Synopsis A younger and more reluctant Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, sets out on an “unexpected journey” to the Lonely Mountain with a spirited group of Dwarves to reclaim their stolen mountain home from a dragon named Smaug.
Why we’re excited
Because, it’s The Hobbit. Next.
Opens 26th of December, 2013
her
Director Spike Jonze
Synopsis A lonely writer develops an unlikely relationship with his newly purchased operating system that’s designed to meet his every need.
Why we’re excited This will be Spike Jonze’s first feature film since Where the Wild Things Are and it basically looks like a modern, beautifully shot, skillfully acted version of the 1984 classic film Electric Dreams. As a result, we give it 5 stars already.
Opens 1st January, 2014
CELEBRATORY SYNTH:
WE’LL ALWAYS.BE.TOGETHR! TOGETHURRRR IN ELECTRIC DREEEAMS!
August: Osage County
Director John Wells
Synopsis A look at the lives of the strong-willed women of the Weston family, whose paths have diverged until a family crisis brings them back to the Oklahoma house they grew up in, and to the dysfunctional woman who raised them.
Why we’re excited 1. It’s based on the extraordinary Pulitzer Prize-winning play by Tracy Letts. 2. Meryl Streep. AND Benedict Cumberbatch, Julia Roberts, Ewan McGregor, Juliette Lewis, Dermot Mulroney and Abigail Breslin.
Opens 2nd January, 2014
Saving Mr. Banks
Director John Lee Hancock
Synopsis Author P. L. Travers reflects on her difficult childhood while meeting with filmmaker Walt Disney during production for the adaptation of her novel, Mary Poppins.
Why we’re excited Heartwarming Alert! Mark this down as one to take your parents/grandparents along to. Then go see it. Then lie down. Try not to cry. Cry a lot.
Opens 9th January, 2014
47 Ronin
Director Carl Rinsch
Synopsis A band of samurai set out to avenge the death and dishonor of their master at the hands of a ruthless shogun.
Why we’re excited Recently it has seemed that Keanu Reeves really has not been using his gift of eternal youth for good; in that, he doesn’t appear to have been making any noteworthy feature films for us to watch. Which, obviously, we hate. So, hopefully his return (not unlike the meaning of his name in Hawaiian) will come like a ‘cool breeze over the mountains’..with samurais.
Opens 14th January, 2014
The Wolf of Wall Street
Director Martin Scorsese
Synopsis Based on the true story of Jordan Belfort, from his rise to a wealthy stockbroker living the high life to his fall involving crime, corruption and the federal government.
Why we’re excited Scorsese and BFF Leo DiCaprio come together again for a film that we love already for making Our Margot proper famous famous and for giving us this .gif. Looking forward to seeing Leo
footloose and Oscar-free fancy-free.
Opens 23rd January, 2014
12 Years A Slave
Director Steve McQueen
Synopsis In the antebellum United States, Solomon Northup, a free black man from upstate New York, is abducted and sold into slavery.
Why we’re excited Steve McQueen of Shame fame has cast criminally underrated Chiwetel Ejiofor as the lead in a movie about America’s terrible past – the crowd goes less wild than it should. But they’ll see, they’ll ALL see.
It’s currently sitting on a 97% Rotten Tomatoes rating.
Opens 30th January, 2014
Robocop
Director José Padilha
Synopsis In 2028 Detroit, when Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman) – a loving husband, father and good cop – is critically injured in the line of duty, the multinational conglomerate OmniCorp sees their chance for a part-man, part-robot police officer.
Why we’re excited Abbie Cornish is delightful in everything, Jackie Earle Haley is terrifying in everything, Michael K. Williams is outstanding in everything, Jay Baruchel is awkward everything and Samuel L. Jackson is Samuel L. Jackson in everything – dream result. As for Joel Kinnaman, who is Joel Kinnaman? Fans of tv series The Killing will know him as wigger detective Stephen Holder but as for the rest of us… Well, we’re definitely about to find out.
Opens 6th February, 2013
All Is Lost
Director J.C. Chandor
Synopsis After a collision with a shipping container at sea, a resourceful sailor finds himself, despite all efforts to the contrary, staring his mortality in the face.
Why we’re excited Robert Redford, where you been, bbi? We’re hearing excellent things about the film and Redford’s performance already and are going to preemptively call it Gravity: Ocean Edition, because basically it looks like a stressful time. If the idea of abandonment, deadly waves or drowning to death sound like the opposite of a few of your favourite things, you should definitely still see it but probably don’t sleep afterwards.
Opens 20th February, 2014
