EA Sports’ ridiculously popular football soccer video game franchise aka the number one reason your boyfriend isn’t talking to you at the moment, has ramped up the excitement levels for its forthcoming 2014 version with the release of an emotionally overwrought FIFA 14 gameplay trailer starring Lionel Messi’s hologram and the spine-tingling tones of Patrick Stewart.
Stewart, the secret witness protection identity of Professor X and Captain Picard, casts some gravitas over the forthcoming title by equating a simulated sporting event contested between two unemployed 23 year olds suffering from Vitamin D deficiency to defending your country against the imminent threat of aliens. Very important work, this.
Upgrades include new gameplay features, stadiums, players, animations, engines, and, for the first time ever, access to the legends of yesteryear through FIFA 14’s online Ultimate Team mode. Those include Brazilian GOAT Pele and Dutch wonder Dennis Bergkamp. No word yet on whether cocaine era Mark Bosnich will be made available to zone-out in goal and fight fans.
FIFA 14 is set to drop on current generation consoles
September 27th.
