Noah Centineo posting about being in the shower had me clicking on his Instagram Stories in record-fast speed, because, well, look at the bloke.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B4av7LzJAIQ/
But aside from being quite a visually pleasing bit of content, Noah attempting to shower in an upstairs bathroom after having knee replacement surgery last week is actual quite the impressive physical feat as well.
He enlists the help of a mate — while his new girlfriend Alexis Ren watches on and doesn’t do much to assist at all, tbh — in order to get himself clean as a whistle. Head to Noah’s Insta story to see the whole thing while it lasts, but I’ve taken the liberty of screenshotting the entire thing for you.
Behold, a story in 13 parts:
1. Get Up From The Lounge
Anyone who has had any kind of injury understands this is no mean feat.
2. Tackle The Stairs
I have to walk up 4 flights of stairs to get into my building, so I got a major eye-twitch watching this because imagine doing that on crutches.
3. Celebrate Victory Upon Conquering The Stairs
This is important. You’ve got to celebrate the wins, no matter how small.
4. Hug Your Girlfriend
And celebrate them with the ones you love, too. (We’re looking enviously at you, Alexis).
5. Gratuitous Mirror Selfie
Just because.
6. Put A Plastic Bag Over Your Bandage
Anyone who’s broke a limb will remember the nightly battle to waterproof your bandages. But were any of us stupid enough not to take our shorts off first? NOAH WAS.
7. Put A Plastic Bag Over Your Bandage: Take 2
Noah then has to take his shorts off and leave some weird swim shorts on so his mate can help him with this whole showering situation. In the video he says “If you see anything, just remember I’m a grower not a shower!” Whatever you say, hun.
Let’s try that again.
8. Wash The Same Spot For Five Minutes
In Noah’s story, he seems to only wash his “good leg” for like 3 slides. Mate, you could have done that with a washcloth in the kitchen and saved all this hassle?
9. Delicately Wash Around Plastic Bag
Finally Noah give his “bad leg” some attention, by gingerly washing his petite ankle.
10. Take Smug Mirror Selfie When Done
Pleased with his efforts, a now-clean Noah snaps a pic to commemorate finally being hygienic.
11. Suddenly Remember That You Have To Get Down The Stairs
That smug face didn’t last very long.
12. MacGyver Your Way Down The Stairs
Noah’s mate has the gently pull Noah’s bad leg along on a pillow while Noah scoots down on his bum. Truly a team effort.
13. Chill.
Be proud of yourself Noah. You did it.
It was enough of an ordeal watching those stories, let alone living it first hand. Will Noah be doing this daily? What if he’s home alone? Will he be stuck upstairs forever? I have so many questions, but I do applaud his commitment to cleanliness.
