Usually, at this time of year, I’d be experiencing my annual post-festival depression after spending a good few days going wild in Hobart at Goth Schoolies / Dark Mofo. It’s also the time of year that I make my yearly pilgrimage to see my friends at the museum, and one of my favourite pieces of art in the world – Wim Delvoye’s Cloaca Professional, better known as “The Shit Machine”. If like me, you’re missing watching that mechanical digestion machine being fed at 11am and shitting itself at 2pm at MONA, you’re going to equally love and hate the new puzzle from the Tassie art museum.

A whole 1000-piece puzzle of our beloved Shit Machine has plopped into the MONA online store, and judging by the look of it, it’ll quickly give you the shits, too.

(Miss you, my sweet poo-maker.)

In true MONA fashion (that being, a total menace that tests your patience for the hell of it, like a ratbag sibling) the Cloaca puzzle is like 80% jet black. Legit, the only colour or anything discernible enough to be figured out relatively easily is the machine itself. The rest? Black as midnight on a moonless night.

MONA cloaca puzzle
WHAT THE FUCK AM I MEANT TO DO WITH THIS?!

If you want to take a run at the potentially-impossible and definitely-ire-inducing puzzle from the mischievous minds down at MONA (who are very safe from all of my frustrations right now), you can order one through the MONA Online Shop for $30 right now. Maybe I’ll finish mine by the time Dark Mofo 2021 starts.

While you’re there you can pick up a magnet from the old Wall Of Cunts artwork (another classic that I love and miss dearly) or maybe a nice scarf covered in lipstick kisses from someone’s anoos for $69 (nice), or my favourite – a tea towel with all the MONA chickens on it.

Image: MONA