That’s a wrap on the Married At First Sight Grand Reunion and unfortunately there was no wine throwing this time (actually maybe it’s better there wasn’t). Basically it ended and it made me feel about as empty as I normally feel watching MAFS.
Last night was the Grand Reunion dinner party, where there was no crying over spilt milk, but there was certainly crying over spilt wine. Jessika Power copped a mouthful of wine from Cyclone Cyrell and it was chaos. Here’s a refresher of that moment, in case you forgot.
Part two was a sit down chat with the ‘experts’ and to be honest not a lot happened.
Thankfully, Twitter ~exists~ and has managed to make Dean‘s rapping, Mike‘s fake crying and Ines‘ dead pan voice seem somewhat bearable.
One couple from season five that were plagued with scandal were Tracey and Dean. Dean was an absolute tool to Tracey, but she got her ultimate hot-girl moment when she dumped him at the final vows.
Tracy dumping Dean lives in my head rent free. iconic. #MAFS pic.twitter.com/szGIZD0kOo
— alysha is playing totk (@venomhaven) February 1, 2021
#MAFS Tracey dumping Dean lives in my head rent free and I ain’t mad about it.
— Scott Bates (@batescott) February 1, 2021
#MAFS #MAFSAU #MAFSAustralia pic.twitter.com/NpLy23xQOs
— dr mimi🦇 (@drmimip) February 1, 2021
Then toxic man number two, Mike, had his own one-on-one with the experts and tried desperately to achieve some kind of redemption arc. It’s pretty icky that they even romanticised his relationship with Heidi, when he was emotionally gaslighting her the whole time.
I’m honestly pissed off at #MAFS for giving Mike a podium – his toxic, manipulative and misogynistic behaviour should be condemned but instead he’s paraded around like a “good bloke” role model.
— Austin P. Sheehan (@AustinPSheehan) February 1, 2021
When Mike’s lips are moving 🤦🏼♂️#MAFS #Mike #FakeFakeFake #MAFSAU #MAFSReunion @MarriedAU @9HoneyAU pic.twitter.com/CLjb69IfBt
— Christian Wallace (@Wally_NMFC) February 1, 2021
I think the moment that really exposed his fakeness was when he said he’d “just kiss” Heidi if he saw her, after he just said he had a girlfriend.
Looks like someone’s in the dog house tonight.
Mike currently doing his best audition for Bold & The Beautiful. #mafs #mafsau
— Nez (@fraggle73) February 1, 2021
Have you changed? Yes, I wear glasses now to make me look like less of a cunt. #mafs #mafsau
— Yannick Oda (@YannickOda) February 1, 2021
Then the third toxic horseman of the apocalypse, Jessika, stepped up to the plate. Although, she did seem a tad more remorseful than the others. Jess was famous for cheating on Mick with Dan in season five.
I forgot about plank of wood Dan…probably for the best #MAFS
— Kiera (@UnderYourPorch) February 1, 2021
Jess performing her rehearsed speech she’s been practicing since she signed the contract for the reunion #MAFS pic.twitter.com/d8bYuggweR
— Jay (@jay_jcf) February 1, 2021
The pair had a notoriously cringey exit interview, where Dan essentially dumped Jess on live TV, you can watch it here.
It’s the “we’re not having this fight on national television,” for me.
Show the interview where he ditched her on live tv! #mafs #mafsau
— Nez (@fraggle73) February 1, 2021
https://twitter.com/WSpark98NZ/status/1356181446285643777
Experts John Aiken and Mel Schilling remarkably continued to label the show as being successful in creating long-lasting relationships. Successful Instagram influencers? Yes. Successful relationships? No.
Expert John: “We’ve had a lot of successful couples through the door here at married at first sight”
Me:#MAFS pic.twitter.com/H99UJJ4ye0
— 𝐃𝐲𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐰𝐬 (@DylanMatthews91) February 1, 2021
https://twitter.com/WSpark98NZ/status/1356184467149189125
AND THIS WINS TWITTER FOR TODAY.
Think the only relationship on this show I’ve come close to feeling invested in is probably the one between Troy and the parasite that lived inside him for 6 months.
— Alana Calvert (@AlanaCalvert) February 1, 2021
So the moral of the story is…
There isn’t one. No one has changed, no one is magically gonna become friends, enemies will remain and the drama will continue to play out on Instagram, along with the tummy tea and facial cleanser endorsements.
And so the cycle goes… 😌 #MAFS pic.twitter.com/zyncJtMNuo
— seapunk aesthete 💮 (@artpunkamor) February 1, 2021
I think I speak for all of us when I say I hope I never see these bozos again. #MAFS
— Matthew Galea (@mattygalea_) February 1, 2021
MAFS really is that crazy aunt that always ruins Christmas, but we love her anyway.
