It pains me to write this, especially considering what went down on last night’s episode of MAFS, but Bryce Ruthven and his missus Melissa Ruthven are still together, months after the show wrapped.

The pair touched down in Sydney yesterday and they’ve been on the promo trail, where they’ve told scores of journalists that their relationship is stronger than ever (I mean… was it ever strong to begin with?)

Perhaps the most alarming part came when they stopped by the Kyle & Jackie O Show and told the shock jocks that they plan on making their relationship “official” by getting hitched IRL. And that’s not all.

Apparently they’re also interested in starting a family together and oh great, let’s bring a baby into this. That’ll solve things.

“That’s the plan,” Bryce Ruthven said when discussing the prospect of starting a family. He said they “want a normal family life” together.

He revealed that he’s “waiting for the right time” to pop the question to Melissa.

“I’ve got some big grand plan that doesn’t involve Channel Nine,” he said.

Elsewhere in the interview, they measured Bryce’s nose and it’s, erm, uncomfortable is a word that comes to mind.

After touching down in Sydney yesterday, the goss mongers at The Wash accosted the pair and asked them a bunch of v. necessary questions, especially in light of last night’s ep, like why the fuck is Bryce Ruthven gaslighting his missus?

Here’s his response to that pertinent question:

“I didn’t actually know what [gaslighting] was, I had to Google it,” he said, and that’s exactly what a gaslighter would say.

“Look, people have their own opinion of me but the only ones I’m interested in are family, friends and Melissa. I’m all good with whatever is said about me, I have a pretty thick skin.”

While most reality TV villains have cried ‘villain edit!’ when the country turns on them, Bryce Ruthven has actually copped to his behaviour, which we seldom see.

“The edit is definitely part of me, good parts and bad parts. I think everyone else can work that out,” he said. So cool, you’re proud of your demonic behaviour. Excellent. What a top bloke.

And as for Melissa Rawson, she said: “I know the real Bryce, what everyone is seeing is a great edit – I’ll say that.”

What a mess.