Jess Cooper’s Party Is Dead, Long Live the Merch Store

Jess Cooper’s Party has finally kicked the bucket, after her dad presumably told her that 180,000 guests was A Few Too Many To Have On The Brand New Patio, Love. The event has disappeared from Facebook, but some enterprising bastard has capitalised on the void to create his very own Jess Cooper’s Official Merchandise Store.

Jess Cooper, who may or may not have actually been behind the invite (at least according to our watchful commenters) now goes down in Z-List Australian celebrity history alongside Corey Worthington, Clare Werbeloff (The Chk Chk Boom Girl), Rob Mills (One Night In Paris [Hilton]) and the entire cast of The Biggest Loser. We’re pretty gutted; at nearly 200,000, Jess’ Party could have been as big as Coachella. Maybe Arcade Fire would have come. With Kanye. In a spaceship.

Expect resident crank Paul Sheehan to write a damning piece about the state of today’s youth in tomorrow’s Sydney Morning Herald, complete with horrible stats about the amount of illicit drug use that is directly caused by teenagers using BookFace.