IRL Villains Threaten “Spoiler Jihadi” If New Star Wars Doesn’t Follow Canon


In the history of Hollywood, no studio has ever gone to such great lengths to keep potential spoilers under wraps, than Disney with Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens. The fans themselves have instilled a kind of ‘Star Wars bro-code’ whereby spoilers are avoided at all costs, and fans will help their fellow fans do the same. Pretty much everyone is united in ensuring the most hyped movie of our time will not be ruined.

And yet – because this is the world we live in – a group that spends its time organising petitions against Disney and Lucasfilm to continue creating stories based in Star Wars Legends (the name given to every book, comic, and game made outside of the films) has threatened a “spoiler jihadi” if the The Force Awakens doesn’t follow cannon.

“I have held my vivid tongue waiting for the movie, after it’s released, well the gates of hell shall be released ,” Roberto Carlos Moscoso – who has just bastardised the smiley face emoji btw – wrote in a closed Facebook group dubbed ‘The Alliance to Preserve the Expanded Universe‘. “We can’t really attack the movie (that I know will suck) unless we have seen it, I will see it on Wednesday at midnight Eastern time so I will have all Thursday to spoil it every mistakes (sic) before anyone else sees it in the US!!!”

The group is encouraging all 3,694 members to spread as many spoilers as they can unless Disney and Lucasfilm give in to their demands, because NO ONE appreciates Star Wars like they do. Obviously.

The threat has already made one bookstore’s dedicated Star Wars Facebook page take drastic action and temporarily shut down, so they “don’t contribute to anyone spoiling The Force Awakens.”

Just, like… FFS, The Alliance. Can you fucking not?

We now bring your attention to this Chrome extension to block all Star Wars spoilers, and advise you see the film at your nearest possible convenience – it’s bloody fantastic.

Story: The Guardian.

Photo: Karwai Tang / Getty.