Colin Farrell As A Daddy Blood Sucker In This 2011 Classic Is THE Horniest Vampire On TV Ever

The 2010s were the height of sexy vampires in popular culture. Twilight, The Vampire Diaries, and True Blood shaped my entire teen years. The grip the vampire genre had in this era is truly one for the history books.

One night, when I was trying to find something to scratch that particular itch, I came across Fright Night. A remake of the 1985 cult classic movie, (which you can catch 8pm AEST, December 21 on PEDESTRIAN TELEVISION).

This version’s from 2011, during the said resurgence of the sexy vampire, and starring Colin Farrell as the hot vampire. Count (Dracula) me in.

Ever since then, I’ve had a deep buried yearning for a romantic vampire lover (minus the murdering humans to survive sitch, of course). But bear with me here. They’re mysterious, impossibly fast, and strong. Their skin is pale white and ice cold. Their eyes change colour, and sometimes they speak like they’re from a different time. A hopeless romantic’s dream (or at the very least, Bella Swan’s).

In a nutshell, the supernatural comedy follows a teenage boy named Charley (Anton Yelchin), who finds out his new neighbour Jerry (Colin Farrell) is a vampire. Charley enlists the help of Las Vegas magician/proclaimed vampire expert, Peter Vincent (David Tennant) to defeat Jerry before he builds a vampire army of hot people. Bum bum bummm. 

The main take away from this movie was not that the vampire’s name was Jerry, or that it was a star studded cast – namely, Imogen Poots, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Dave Franco, and Toni Collette — but that I would’ve willingly stood in front of Jerry, slapped my neck, and begged for him to let me join his army of the undead. Or maybe I’ve just read too much Twilight.

Either way, there is no denying that Colin Farrell is a gorgeous man, and even more so as a vampire. But just so everyone else can understand exactly what I mean, please see my incredibly biased opinion of every time Colin Farrell gave evil daddy energy in Fright Night.

1. Wife Pleaser Jerry

The first time we ever see Jerry in the film, is when he’s covered in dirt in the front yard, a bit sweaty, and in a wife pleaser (a.k.a. the white tank formally known as a wife beater), while flirting with Charley’s mum Jane (Toni Collette). ‘Nuff said.

2. You Can Enter My Home Any Time You Want

In this specific vampire lore, the undead are not allowed into any home unless they’ve been invited in by the owners themselves. So Jerry tries to get an invite into Charley and Jane’s home by asking for a pack of beer. After not being let in, Jerry leans against the door (ooft), and essentially threatens Charley, telling him that there’s a line of people that would fuck his girlfriend: “Your girl Amy, she’s ripe. I bet there’s a line of guys dying to pluck that.” Strange but hot?

3. I’ll Be Your Vampire Companion

Am I too single or was Jerry making Amy drink human blood to turn her into his vampire queen kinda hot? But in a really sick and sadistic way. Just me? Okay.

4. Leather King

David Tennant also gets a shout out for being a man whore, wearing heavy ass eyeliner, and rocking a leather clad vampire slayer fit.

If you want to check out the OG film from 1985 that blessed us with this concept, it’s streaming on the 21st December on PEDESTRIAN TELEVISION, Australia’s number one hotspot for chaotic good content.