All praise be to the Internet, on this most glorious of days. For it’s in these darkest of times – still but a day from the weekend – that it gifts unto us all a glorious sinkhole of time into which all productivity can be thrown.
We’re not exactly sure who the straight-up genius (or geniuses) behind this are, but we now demand they be anointed into Knighthood. See, what we have here, kids, is a devilishly simple, really, really funny, and insanely replayable 8-bit simulator wherein you take command of Tony Abbott‘s giant floating head and attempt to Stop The Boats before they arrive in Australia.
But there’s more to it than just that. Every boat you stop increases your approval rating by 1%. Get to 100%, and you’re the Suppository of all Wisdom. Way to go! Good for you! And if you get to 200%, well… Actually, cards on the table here, we haven’t been able to get much higher than 60% thus far. It’s deceptively tricky.
But the fun doesn’t end there! Grab some of the incoming money to increase your defence budget and enable Joe Hockey Rampage Mode. And try as hard as you can not to die of laughter when Clive Palmer’s Titanic starts barrelling towards shore with a magnificently shitty flute rendition of My Heart Will Go On taking over the soundtrack.
Get cracking on the Abbott Simulator right now, why don’t you. If you’re running this particular gauntlet at work and your boss catches you out, just tell them you’re doing your bit for Team Australia.
Go now! For the good of the nation!
