Now that Tony Abbott is no longer a member of Federal Parliament, which is a sentence that won’t lose its novelty for quite some time, the question of what does he do next is a morbidly curious one. Does he hang out in the Parliament House foyer reading a NewsCorp paper “just in case he’s needed”? Does he enter the scientific field in a bid to develop an actual suppository of all wisdom just to prove everyone wrong? Does he waddle around on a Manly beach in tiny togs stuffed with some of the $300,000 per year Parliamentary pension he’s now entitled to?
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The much more likely and less jokey scenario is that he’ll be in line to take on some sort of plum diplomatic post, handed to him on a silk pillow by the newly-reelected Morrison Government. And if one former Deputy Prime Minister has his way, it’ll be a post that’ll put Toney that much closer to God.
Former Deputy PM Tim Fischer, who served as John Howard‘s 2IC from 1996 through to 1999, wants Abbott posted as Australia’s envoy to The Vatican, according to reports from The Age.
Fischer was Australia’s first resident ambassador at The Vatican; a role he took on in 2008 and held until 2012. Australia’s current Vatican envoy, Melissa Hitchman, is nearing the end of her three-year posting in the job, meaning there will be quite the Holy Vacancy to fill.
Fischer stated that the importance of the role “should not be underestimated,” and deals with “everything from the SKA [Square Kilometre Array] radio telescope to helping bomb victims in the ‘pope’s hospital’ but above all else is a key listening post including to the Balkans and eastern Europe.“
He then wholeheartedly endorsed Abbott for the residential posting, which would put the former Prime Minister in the Vatican on a full-time basis.
May I humbly suggest that in many ways the capabilities of former prime minister Tony Abbott could be very usefully employed for all Australians by sending him to Rome. Indeed, other nations such as Poland, have sent former prime ministers as ambassadors to the Vatican.
Abbott, as you’re all probably aware, is a devout Catholic and studied to become a Priest before entering the world of politics, going so far as to maintain a close personal relationship with George Pell right up to, and through, Pell’s conviction for various child sex offences earlier this year. Abbott defended Pell as a “fine man” even after Pell was jailed for up to six years following the guilty verdict.
The role would require Abbott to relocate to Rome on a near-permanent basis.
And fuck a doodle doo wouldn’t that be terrible for all concerned.
