Ah Aubrey Plaza. She’s our quirky celebrity friend. The funny one. A gal that all bisexuals love and straight men fear. But now, after getting in bed with Big Milk, her street cred has begun to curdle.
Confused? Let me explain.
The White Lotus star has recently starred in an advertising campaign promoting dairy milk.
In the clip, Plaza is standing in a lush forest wearing a flannelette shirt and puffer vest à la a guy from the outskirts of Melbourne. She then begins to promote a fake milk called “wood milk” which is clearly intended as a parody of the array of plant milks that are now on the market.
At the end of the clip, Plaza takes sip of the chunky-looking liquid. With a milk moustache on her face she asks us: “Is Wood Milk real?”
“No, only real milk is real,” she answers.
Bummer. Here I was getting excited for a new, Aubrey Plaza-endorsed plant-based milk to soothe my lactose intolerant tummy.
Have a look at the, uh, interesting ad below.
The fake product video is only the tip of the iceberg. Plaza’s fictional product Wood Milk also has its own YouTube, TikTok, Facebook and Twitter pages. Because what better way to get to Gen-Z and their plant-milk sippin’ little minds than through social media? Right, fellow kids?
0% nutritional value 100% TASTY #drinkwoodmilk #woodmilknation
— Wood Milk (@drinkwoodmilk) April 28, 2023
Sadly for Big Milk, Gen-Z isn’t as open to milk propaganda. Even with Plaza putting her whole Aubussy into the campaign.
Her fans weren’t too happy to see the Parks And Recreation star wholeheartedly supporting the dairy industry. In fact, they were kind of pissed.
Especially as the elaborate campaign was funded by the Milk Processor Education Program, known as MilkPEP, the same organisation behind the well-known “Got Milk?” campaign. With so many celebrities repping Big Milk propaganda from 1993 to 2014, you just know Plaza raked in the big bucks to star in “Got Milk?” 2.0.
I can’t believe Aubrey Plaza got paid off by big milk
— big ol nobody (@cantcrackanegg) April 22, 2023
Although Big Milk is taking aim at plant milks as one of the main factors for dairy milk’s demise, the truth is that dairy milk has been on the decline with consumers for yonks.
To put things into perspective, according to the Economic Research Service, milk in the United States was in its ultimate slay era in 1945 where the average person would drink a whopping 170 litres of milk per person per year. Whereas in 2001, Americans were consuming only 30 litres of milk per person per year.
In Australia, the decline hasn’t been as severe and the country remains dedicated to dairy milk. In 2021, a report by Dairy Australia claimed that Australia’s consumption of drinking milk ranked among the highest in the world behind Ireland, Finland and New Zealand. However, Dairy Australia also stated that dairy milk consumption in Australia has fallen by 13 per cent since 2012 and is continuing to decline while plant milks are on the rise.@jennystojkovic This is the worst brand collab of all time @drinkwoodmilk. Why you taking money from @gotmilk Aubrey? How much did they pay? 😝 #greenscreenvideo #greenscreen #fyp #plantbased #climate #climatechange #dairyfree @plantbasednews ♬ original sound – jennystojkovic
According to the ABC, plant milks, more specifically oat and almond milk, are on track to take over half of the café milk market over the next few years. Huge if true!
Ultimately, the whole campaign is an embarrassing attempt to make milk cool and hip with youngsters and Plaza was their ticket. But instead of gaining positive viral success, Gen-Z has slammed Plaza and Big Milk for their cheugy initiative.
At the end of the day, if Aubrey Plaza actually DID release a product called “Wood Milk”, I know my dairy sensitive ass would be buying it. In bulk.
Fuck you, Big Milk.
