For the first time in living memory, Andrew Bolt and Miranda Devine have been confronted by their own awfulness.
The pair dissolved into a spectacular spat over whether or not Tony Abbott could return to lead the Liberal party during a radio interview on Monday night, and it’s truly a case of bad meets worse. (Side note: of course they were fighting about Abbott.)
Devine is filling in for Steve Price at the moment while he shares his token air of low key misogyny with the South African jungle (‘I’m A Celebrity‘), so on Monday night when Bolt called in for his regular 8pm segment, he spoke to Devine instead.
It started off pleasantly enough.
Miranda: “Hello Andrew, how are you?”
Andrew: “What a pleasure. This should be an interesting conversation.”
M: “Isn’t this a pleasure? I know, I mean we agree on so much …”
A: “But we also differ. And difference makes it more interesting.”
M: “It sure does. So stand by everybody for a vigorous conversation.”
A pleasure indeed! But it wasn’t long before the cracks started to show, as the two got into a heated debate about Malcolm Turnbull‘s poor polling.
A: “I think you’re completely misrepresenting the role of polls.”
M: “No, you’re on the one hand saying that polls were telling us that Julia Gillard was going to lose …”
A: “How about I make my point and then tell me I’m wrong, instead of telling me I’m wrong before I’ve actually made it. That might be helpful. The polls didn’t say Tony Abbott would lose, they said he was losing. That’s a different kettle of fish. The polls right now say that Malcolm Turnbull is losing.”
M: “But make up your mind.”
A: “I think we’re in a profitless debate. You seem to be very keen to establish Tony Abbott can’t come back.”
M: “But you’re very keen to say he can come back.”
A: “Let me finish my point. Whether Tony Abbott can or can’t come back is almost besides the point.”
M: “But it’s your only point. It’s the only point you’ve been making for the last six months.”
And then it REALLY began to fall apart – and spectacularly at that.
M: “You need to make up your mind about the polls.”
A: “Don’t attack me.”
M: “I’m not attacking you. You’re saying on the one hand you don’t believe the polls when they come to Tony Abbott but you do believe the polls now when they come to Malcolm Turnbull.”
A: “Miranda, this is so frustrating. You ascribe to me a view that I don’t hold, then when I correct it, instead of listening and accepting it, you once again say the same thing.”
M: “Oh, Andrew, we’re not getting anywhere here. Did you or did you not tell us that you thought that Julia Gillard would not have won the election based on polls?”
A: “Let me make my point. Please let me make my points otherwise there’s no point to the conversation. Let me make my points or there’s no point to the conversation and I may as well go and do something else.”
M: “Did you or did you not say that?”
A: “Put your question and let me answer it. Why are you arguing with me? I’ve tried to tell you …”
M: “Andrew, this is fruitless.”
A: “I know. For chrissakes, Miranda. If you give me a question I’ll answer it, and if you keep interrupting me I’m afraid I’m going to hang up.”
M: “We’ve got five weeks, we have to get on.”
A: “Miranda, in that case you’re describing a living hell for me. It has to work like this. You ask me a question, I give an answer, you can agree with me or not agree with me, but please don’t interrupt me while I’m doing it.”
M: “Well, Andrew, this is my show so you don’t dictate to me what I do.”
A: “No, it’s our show. Well if it’s your show how about you do it without me.”
M: “Is that what you want to do?”
THESE ARE TWO VERY WELL-PAID COLUMNISTS FIGHTING OVER WHOSE SHOW IT IS. (Hint: it’s neither.)
M: “I thought this was a discussion.”A: “Well funnily enough I’ve managed to do it very nicely with every other fill-in except you. Now let’s throw to the listeners and see whether they think this method of discussion is profitless.”
M: “Alright, well let’s do that when I’m ready to do that.”
A: “No, I want to listen to the listeners now.”
Well, there you have it, folks. Two people finally confronted with each other’s awfulness. Stay tuned for what happens next.
M: “Well, Andrew, it’s been fantastic talking to you, even though we did have a stoush, but that was going to be on the cards. It’s been boiling for a while. Let’s try again tomorrow and see how we go.”
A: “Let’s see.”
Photo: YouTube; Daily Telegraph.
