The Golden Globes $13K Goodie Bags Include Sex Toys, Kids Shoes (?) & A Hawaiian Holiday

If getting all tizzied up, seeing everyone to be seen, and having a full sit-down dinner in a giant ballroom in the middle of Beverly Hills wasn’t enough for those at the Golden Globes, they’re also taking home a grab bag full of ridiculous goodies, as is tradition.

We all love to be a sticky-nosed snoopy binch at the best of times, so let’s have a butcher’s at what exactly is in the bags this year – which are valued at over $13k.

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As reported by Forbes, the luxury gift suite at the Globes features a batshit amount of gifts for everyone at the event, no matter if they take home a 24 carat gold-plated globe stop an equally-golden pillar or not.

I mean, yeah, sure, winning your category is all well and good but also damn, that party bag. It certainly goes beyond a couple of Chupa Chups, a Wizz Fizz, and a handful of chocolate freckles, let me tell you.

The biggest, most expensive thing in there is probably the seven-day stay in Hawaii, hosted by American Luxury Tours. Yep. A whole-ass holiday.

I’ve heard that some bloke named Scotty is looking for any leftover trips, so give us a yell if you see any left behind goodie bags after an A-Lister has had one too many shandies at the Globes, yeah?

If Hawaii isn’t your thing then don’t worry, because Estancia La Jolla Hotel and Spa in San Diego has also tucked a two-night stay with complimentary breakfasts and massages in there too.

It’s not just fancy-ass holidays to be found in those packed-out tote bags, oh goodness me no. There’s also tangible, take-home treats like:

  • Skincare products from Baroque & Rose (one pack is more than my rent, christ)
  • Spa products from Copper + Cane (which is shut down? ok)
  • A whole BLUETOOTH SPEAKER from Nuvelon
  • Flavoured rosewater drinks from H2Rose
  • Protein bars from RxBARS
  • Sex toys from LELO (expensive and good)
  • Shapewear from Nancy Glanz
  • Kids shoes from Livie & Luca (??? ok)
  • Portable chargers from SunSoaker (important for when you’re halfway through the show and low on juice)

This is most definitely not all of it, as there’s the typical botox treatments, massages, manicures, people telling you good you look, general life affirmations, and ego inflations being doled out at the Golden Globes as well. It’s like Christmas has come a whole…354 days early.

Good for them.