10 Reasons Demi Moore’s Memoir Will Blow

Demi Moore has signed a deal to publish her memoirs, which will detail her career and personal life, Ashton Kutcher, Kabbalah, etc.

Here are Ten Reasons Why No Not To Read That Book!
1. The jig is up Her main selling point is her amazing middle age bod, but we all know there’s no crazy ‘secret’ to her hotness: If you’ve got heaps of cash you can look amazing. Lesson already learned. Next!

2. Twitter We know everything about her life because of her and Ashton Kutcher’s non stop over-share tweeting. Example:


3. Unemployed Demi Moore hasn’t done a good movie since the Ninties. PS how good is ‘Ghost’.

4. Overexposure No one is going to be super titillated by ‘never-before-seen’ photos of Demi. Doing Striptease and that pregnant Vanity Fair cover was ample flesh, thanks very much.

5. Boresville HarperCollins says the narrative will be “framed by her complicated relationship with her mother, Virginia King.” Enough said.

6. Ghostwriter Since Demi is a barely literate high-school dropout she’ll probably get someone else to write the book. That irks me.

7. Rumer Willis She shits me. I don’t want to hear about how she’s the greatest child in history. I want to go on indiscriminately hating her.

8. Kabbalah People into these cool mystical religions have way too many proverbs and cryptic life lessons to offer. Fuck off with your holier-than-thou smugness and let us read the i-ching or whatever in peace.

9. Demi Moore No one cares.

10. Demi Moore is so beige I can’t even come up with a tenth reason. Lame.

Via Yahoo news

Title Image- Still of Demi Moore in “Striptease”