If there were ever a man to know a thing or two about eating out, it’d be Gordon Ramsay.

While the 50-year-old British chef is best known for his foul-mouthed antics on TV shows like ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ and ‘Kitchen Nightmares’, he’s more than just talk. Chef Ramsay has earned a whopping three Michelin stars and owns tens of restaurants around the globe.

So when the bloke dishes out tips on how to dine like you’re fancy with a capital F, listening ain’t a bad idea.

Speaking to the Daily Mail, Chef Ramsay has revealed the three ‘golden rules’ you should abide by at a restaurant to ensure you have the most pleasant of experiences.

1. AVOID SPECIALS 

“Specials are there to disappear throughout the evening. When they list 10 specials, that’s not special,” says Ramsay.

If it’s always “the special” then it’s probably a money spinning ploy.

Here Are Gordon Fuckin’ Ramsay’s 4 Golden Rules For Eating Out


Anthony Bourdain agrees with Ramsay, and has also advised against the special in his book ‘Kitchen Confidential’

“Never order the seafood special on a Monday,” he says.

His logic is that over the weekend people are happy to treat themselves and spend a bit more to indulge in some fresh seafood. Once the weekend is over, some of these ingredients are left over and they go on the ‘specials’ menu.

“I never order fish on Monday, unless I’m eating at a four-star restaurant where I know they are buying their fish directly from the source. I know how old most seafood is on Monday – about four to five days old!” he says.

2. DINNER FOR TWO? BOOK FOR THREE

Nothing is worse than forking out money to dine at an exxy restaurant and getting a shit table.

Ramsay knows this isn’t ideal, and so recommends booking for three instead of two to avoid “getting stuck in the corner like a doorstop.”

Here Are Gordon Fuckin’ Ramsay’s 4 Golden Rules For Eating Out

the best cooking show moment, ever


Sure, it’s a little annoying for the waitstaff when you turn up as a couple who are clearly on a date – but it’s less annoying than getting plonked on a crammed table next to the restrooms. 


3. HAGGLE FOR YOUR WINE 

Ordering wine at a restaurant gives me grave anxiety.

How do I pronounce G.H. Mumm? What’s a tannin? Should I order this $40 glass of red, lest the waiter think I am a plebeian? 

Lots of people feel the same, but it doesn’t have to be that way. A good sommelier will be able to listen to what you like and suggest something within your price range.

Ramsay recommends asking for the “bin end” list. That includes the bottles with scratched labels, vintages that are getting rotated out or wines that haven’t sold well.

“We have a fear about talking to sommeliers because you think you’re going to be ripped off,” says Ramsay. “So get the sommelier to come up with a great glass or great bottle and give him a price. And make sure it’s under $30.”

4. BE WARY OF HUGE CLAIMS 


Travel between any capital city in Australia, stop off at every country town and I challenge you to find a bakery that doesn’t claim to bake the ‘Australia’s Best Vanilla Slice!’.

It’s a thing. It’s like lying on your resumé – if you come off confident enough, it’s unlikely someone will check your credentials. But Ramsay says we should be wary of places that have big tickets on themselves.

“When they turn around and tell me it is the ‘famous red lasagne,’ who made it famous?” asks Ramsay.

Here Are Gordon Fuckin’ Ramsay’s 4 Golden Rules For Eating Out

“They start coming up with these terminologies, saying “and the wicked, famous, best in the country profiteroles.” Who said that? Who named that?”

Thank you, Gordon Ramsay. Thank you.

Here Are Gordon Fuckin’ Ramsay’s 4 Golden Rules For Eating Out

Source: Daily Mail.

Photo: Tim P. Whitby / Getty.