Look, I’m a simple man, of simple pleasures. If I put more than one type of cheese on a pizza I feel like I’m some sort of goddamn sultan living a life of pure unbridled hedonism and excess.
But I guess that’s not enough for some people. Heck, some people hear “two cheese pizza” and they say “no thanks, not enough cheeses for me”. Luckily, Melbourne pizzeria 400 Gradi have stepped up to the plate, offering up for one night only a 99 cheese pizza.
They’ve done this once before in 2014, but apparently the expense of sourcing 99 cheeses is somewhat prohibitive to making this superpizza all the time.
Owner (and winner of the world’s best pizza title) Johnny Di Francesco has been has been honing the recipe in the 2 years adjourning, perfecting the mix of 95 cheeses that is then complimented by the addition of a further four cheeses at cook time.
You might think that the 99 cheeses is a made up number, but apparently it is 100% real, and you can look at the list of all of them right here:
1. Aged cheddar
2. American cheese
3. Asiago
4. Auricchio calcagno
5. Aurrichio grana padano
6. Auricchio parmigiano
7. Australian colby
8. Australian mild cheddar
9. Australian shredded pizza cheese
10. Blue
11. Blue vein
12. Bocconcini
13. Brie
14. Buffalo mozerella
15. Bulgarian sheep fetta
16. Burrata
17. Cacio
18. Calcagno
19. Camembert
20. Castello white
21. Cheddar
22. Chilli cheddar
23. Cloth aged vintage cheddar
24. Colby
25. Cottage cheese
26. Cracked-pepper
27. Cream cheese
28. Cyprus-style haloumi
29. Danish blue
30. Deidre Mini Chol
31. Dill chevre
32. Double-cream brie
33. Easy-melt colby
34. Edam
35. Extra-sharp parmesan
36. Extra-sharp vintage cheddar
37. Extra Tasty
38. Feta
39. Goat’s milk caprakaas
40. Goat’s
41. Goat’s cheese with Italian black truffle
42. Goat’s curd
43. Gorgonzola
44. Gouda
45. Grana padano
46. Grated nacho
47. Grated pizza plus
48. Greek feta
49. Gruyere
50. Haloumi
51. Havarti
52. Italian cheese blend
53. Jarlsberg
54. Labneh
55. Light ricotta
56. Light Tasty
57. Lite n Tasty slices
58. Lite Swiss jarlsberg
59. Livefree natural cheese
60. Manchego
61. Marscapone
62. Mexican cheese blend
63. Mild cheddar
64. Mini Babybel
65. Mozerella
66. Nimbin Natural
67. Paneer
68. Parmesan
69. Parmigiano reggiano stravecchio
70. Pecorino
71. Persian fetta
72. Red Leicester
73. Red wax cheddar
74. Reduced-fat cheddar
75. Reduced-fat vintage
76. Reggiano
77. Ricotta
78. Saganaki
79. Sandwich cheese slice
80. Shanklish
81. Shredded lactose free
82. Smoked cheese
83. Smoked Dutch
84. Special reserve vintage cheddar
85. Spreadable quarg
86. Stilton
87. Strong & Bitey Vintage
88. Supreme sour cheese
89. Sweet-chilli cheese
90. Swiss cheese
91. Tasmanian Danish fetta
92. Tasmanian fetta
93. Tasmanian Heritage St Claire Swiss
94. Triple-cream brie
95. Vintage Club Pickled Cheddar
96. Vintage Extra Sharp slices
97. Vintage Tasty
98. Welsh cheddar
99. White brie
The pizza is being offered tonight only at 400 Gradi Brunswick East, Gradi Crown, Gradi Eastland and 400 Gradi Essendon, if you feel like making an extremely last minute dinner choice pivot (probably call ahead though to see if they can squeeze you in).
Reviews so far are looking good, but frankly even if they said it was terrible I’d still want to try it.
We also managed to secure two exclusive reviews from two highly-regarded critics who dined there this evening and have chosen to keep their identities a secret. The first, 13, told us:
“Even though I could only taste a few of the cheeses, it was still an amazing explosion of flavour.”
The second, 11, told us simply:
“Cheese.”
What a goddamn incredible time to be alive.