A man in Singapore has filed two lawsuits against a woman who refused to date him, and YIKES. I’m literally shrivelling up inside.
The man, who has been identified as K. Kawshigan, threatened to sue his former friend, Nora Tan, after she rejected him and chucked him firmly in the “friendzone”.
He claims she caused him “emotional trauma” after she told him that she didn’t want to root him and just wanted to remain friends.
According to The Straits Times, he initially put the lawsuit on hold after she agreed to go to therapy with him. After a year and a half of talkin’ it out, she (unsurprisingly) still didn’t want to be in a relationship with him.
Women are well-acquainted with the art of letting someone down easy — we’ve had to figure out how to do it for our very own safety. But forcing someone to go to therapy with you in the likely hopes of having them change their mind about being in a relationship with you? A red flag isn’t even red enough.
Tan eventually started harassment proceedings against him, but after a bunch of discussions, she eventually just cut contact completely as she couldn’t deal with the fact that he just couldn’t GET it. It’s called boundaries, man. Look it up.
But then came the kicker.
After she cut contact, he made a completely logical, well-thought-out, and absolutely not entitled decision, and responded by filing two lawsuits against her.
The first was a $3 million Singapore Dollar (SGD) High Court claim, alleging she caused “damage to his stellar reputation” and caused “trauma, depression and impacts” to his life.
The second was a $22,000 SGD magistrate’s court claim that alleged that she breached an agreement to improve their relationship. This has since been rejected by Singaporean State Courts deputy registrar Lewis Tan, who said that Kawshigan’s claim was “manifestly groundless and without foundation” and an abuse of the court process. Get em, Lewis.
IDK about you, but it feels like old mate damaged his own “stellar reputation” when he sued a woman because she didn’t want to bang him. But hey, that’s just me.
The whole ordeal began when Tan and Kawshigan met in 2016 when they slowly became friends. But in September 2020, problems began to arise when Kawshigan considered her to be his “closest friend” and after seeing how misaligned their relationship was, Tan asked for their interactions to be scaled back a wee bit.
According to The Strait Times, this pissed off Kawshigan as he felt it was taking a step back in their relationship. Mate, that’s the whole point???
After she held her ground, he issued a letter of demand for “monetary damages arising from negligent infliction of emotional distress and possible defamation”.
After trying to reason with him and texting him that her “discomfort [was] genuine”, Kawshigan told her that she could either comply with his demands to deepen the relationship or suffer “irrevocable” damage. Holy fucking shit, dude.
It was then that he filed his High Court claim, alleging that remarks she had made had resulted in a loss of earning capacity as an “active high-capital trader by night and a busy CEO by day”. He’s also seeking compensation for rehabilitation and therapy programmes for “deeper psychological assistance” to overcome his trauma. And I say trauma very, very loosely.
A quick note on the friendzone: it’s not real.
The friendzone is a term that’s used by men who feel like they’re entitled to women’s bodies simply because they’re nice to them. It implies that women inherently owe men something (we don’t, BTW). Niceness is not a currency you can utilise to fuck people.
It’s immensely difficult to navigate friendzone accusations as a woman in general — it questions your friendship with people, how they see you, and ultimately, what their ulterior motives are.
Unfortunately, Tan’s experiences are something that many women know all too well. The absurdity and drama of literally suing someone because they don’t want to fuck you is funny, but the entitled person behind it paints a very dark image of how women are still viewed as accessories, even today.
The pre-trial will begin on February 9.
