A cruise ship worker aboard the Royal Caribbean has spilled the tea on secret, staff-only areas which have rarely been seen by any of us grubby passengers before.

If Below Deck has taught me anything over the years, it’s that there’s always another secret nook and/or cranny we don’t know about.

This has never been truer than in the darkest depths of cruise crew member TikTok.

@bryanjames.music

I think I’m team robot. #cruiseship #royalcaribbean #belowdeck #wonderoftheseas

♬ original sound – Bryan James

“There’s also a secret shop where guests can buy things,” cruise musician Bryan James says.

“I was on this ship for over a month before I knew that these existed. There are a bunch of these machines that just sell things that you need.

“Toothpaste, toothbrushes, sunscreen, even Pokemon cards.”

Crikey, OKAY then!

Imagine just popping off during your lunchtime break to break open a deck of Pokemon cards.

You’d truly be living the dream.

Also can we pause to acknowledge the fact that even after weeks on that floating monster of a boat, he still hadn’t discovered a bunch of spots?

My financial goal in life is to buy a house so similarly goddamn big that after a few weeks of living there, I’m still discovering weird little hidden rooms. Now that’s what I’d call living, even if it has slightly haunted house vibes.

In another TikTok video, Bryan shone a light on yet ANOTHER secret area.

@bryanjames.music

What other below deck areas do you wanna see? #cruiseshipcrew #belowdeck #wonderoftheseas #cruiseship

♬ original sound – Bryan James

Here’s where the #crewlife becomes a little dicey.

Bryan mentions in the video that he was once stuck on the ship for a whopping eight months at a time on extended trips while the world was in and out of lockdowns.

I’m sorry, but that’s nearly an entire pregnancy.

For now, I thank the TV Gods we have shitty boat-based reality shows so we can vicariously live out our dreams of living on the seven seas without having to get in line for detergent for an hour.

With crew reportedly lining up outside the door to get their mitts on the newly restocked items, it really makes you wonder whether living aboard a floating city is the vibe it’s sometimes made out to be.

Image: TikTok @bryanjames.music