Survival video games are all the rage at the moment. Suddenly being inside a harsh environment with little resources and an unyielding will to live can be a real bloody hoot if the game is made well.
What makes these experiences all the more enjoyable is the ability to customise your character. There’s nothing like a ~wild~ mohawk and face tattys to really feel like that’s you clobbering a stranger to death with a boulder.
One of the latest survival games, Conan Exiles, is based in the timeless Conan the Barbarian universe. Big snakes, weird monsters, shirtless blokes, all of it. In game form.
But friends of the gaming community, allow me to introduce to you, the pinnacle of character customisation. The motherfucking Conan endowment slider.
NSFW but Conan Exiles has an endowment slider. Big dong, little dong, big dong, little dong pic.twitter.com/MNgGsmlv32
— Chris Livingston (@screencuisine) January 30, 2017
Holy shit you guys. Look at the size of the dongs you can give your character. You can give them a monster bepis and no one will stop you. There better be some slide whistle happening during those adjustments.
And to add flavour to your digital penis, real-world physics have been generously applied to it, meaning that bad boy will swing with every thrust of your sword… Or squat.
NSFW, more cock & balls from Conan Exile. I hope this is earning me XP pic.twitter.com/159udrkgIp
— Chris Livingston (@screencuisine) January 30, 2017
Think about this for a moment. Creating a slider for dicks and then applying physics to them was someone’s job.
And that’s why video games rule.
The Conan Exile willy game was released on Steam as an early access title yesterday.
Source: Kotaku.
Photo: Conan the Barbarian.
