Are you over Tinder? Sick of swiping right and continuously matching with bots? Is your life of flagrant promiscuity weighing heavily on your conscience? Well have we got that app for you.
Quit getting down with strangers and start getting down with the lord via the world’s first catholic app, called, The Catholic App. Urgh, God isn’t exactly doling out creativity to you guys, is he?
More appropriately dubbed ‘Sindr’ by media and online commentators, the app will find you the closest Holy Mass, confessional or diocesanal statistics for your hell-bound, tequila-loving soul.
The holiest of apps was launched in the Vatican by Scottish Archbishop, Leo Cushley, who says the idea came to him when god straight-up slid into his DMs.
“The idea was really inspired by the Holy Father himself,” he announced on Vatican Radio. “He said to be imaginative about what to do for the Holy Year of Mercy.”
Imaginative indeed. What better way to absolve for a life of sin than swiping right for some time with our lord and savior, Jesus Christ, who is always DTF – Down to faith.
Photo: Scary Movie.