OH SHIT: Apple Unveils Water-Resistant iPhone 7 W/ No Headphone Jack

Another year, another iPhone bursts out of Apple’s cave of
wonders. Early this morning they announced the iPhone 7 and 7 Plus and hot damn,
they looks fricken NOICE.
 

Here’s what you’ll bloody get after you no doubt line up for
hours at the Apple store, you maniacs. 
The iPhone 7 has a 4.7 inch retina display that is 25%
brighter than its predecessor. The 7 Plus is bigger at 5.5 inches.
AND IT’S WATER AND DUST RESISTANT! YAASSSS.
HOLY SHIT.
Its new A10 chip is a 64 bit, 4 core processor that is 40% than
the A9. What’s pretty nifty is that 2 of the cores are high performance and the
other 2 are high efficiency, meaning they use only 1 fifth of the power. By
delegating boring af tasks like checking your emails to these cores, it’ll save
ya battery life. SIK. 
There’s a 6 core GPU that will top the graphical performance
of the previous model by 50%. Bloody YUGE. They showed this off by rendering
400 flying monkeys and quite frankly, it was fucking beautiful.
In terms of battery life – perhaps the meatiest of the
iPhone griefs – the iPhone 7 will last an extra 2 hours per day when compared
to the iPhone 6s, and 1 extra hour compared to the 6s Plus
The 7 will feature a
12 megapixel camera with image stabilisation technology along with a 7 megapixel
FaceTime camera so you can take nek level good selfies. The 7 Plus has got
double the fun with a second 12 megapixel camera that allows for some crazy
zoom and hectic shallow depth of field photography.
The Home Button is now force sensitive and provides Taptic
feedback, so you’ll get a bit of a vibe when you use it, much like the
sensation of force touch on the 6s. 
They’ve added stereo speakers – one on the top and another
on the bottom – that reach twice the volume of the 6 series. Great news for
that one bloke that loves blaring shitty tunes on a packed train.
And yes, the rumours are true. Your headphone jack is DEAD.
In its place, Apple have offered Lightening connected headphones, along with a
Lightening to mini phono adapter for those afraid of change. 
They also announced some pretty sweet wireless AirPods. They
respond to touch and have a microphone, so you can still confuse people in the
street by taking a phone call and staring directly at them as you speak. These
will cost ya $229, released late October.
Both models will be available in gold, silver, rose gold,
matt black and glossy ‘Jet Black’ on September 16 in Australia. The iPhone 7 starts
at $1,079 and the plus at $1,269, with both available in 32GB, 128GB and 256GB
sizes.
Source: Apple.
Photo: Apple.

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