People Are Crowdfunding A New Couch For Struggling Billionaire Elon Musk

Well, that’s my faith in humanity restored: a bunch of regular people have chipped in together to buy a $USD1,000 couch for struggling tech giant Elon Musk, who is barely scraping by with a net worth of roughly $24.7 billion. I am, of course, kidding, and would kindly ask that you smash my head in with a brick.

He might be an anti-union, anti–safe working conditions technocrat who is amassing an absurd amount of personal wealth while countless billions of people in the world live and die in poverty, but nerds will never stop loving the man who puts cars into space and gives companies funny names – to the point that they will donate their own cash to a man who wouldn’t notice the difference in his bank balance if he funded their entire existence.

Fans became sympathetic after an interview with CBS in which Musk (who could buy an entire hotel the same way you buy a hash brown) pointed out that he sleeps on a couch in a boardroom. Concerned that the probably already quite expensive couch wasn’t good for his posture, kindly philanthropist Ben Sullins from San Diego, California started a GoFundMe to get him a better one. Sullins has a YouTube channel called Teslanomics where he breaks down news about Elon Musk and Tesla.

Initially asking for $USD1000, in the course of a day the GoFundMe has raised $USD4,633 (nearly $6,000 AUD), because fuck knows why.

Collins states on the page that if “Elon nor Tesla reply via twitter” after three days, they’ll donate to a charity chosen by vote, which seems like the most likely outcome of this bizarre move, so at least something good will come of it.

While that seems quite altruistic, it seems much more likely this whole thing is a ploy so that Collins can meet Musk, if you go by his plan:

Here is the plan to deliver the couch to Elon:

1 – Contact him via twitter
2 – If he replies with “yes” I’ll reach out to Tesla directly
3 – We collectively vote on which couch to order, will setup a poll here or elsewhere if that’s not possible
4 – I’ll order the couch and ship to them
5 – If allowed I’ll fly up there to hand deliver and film the experience

What in the world is wrong with people.

I’m not going to link to the GoFundMe, but if you feel like donating money, maybe do it directly to a charity of your choice instead of helping prop up this dude’s Tesla boner.


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