Some Seppo Gronk Is Trying To Sell An Australia-Shaped Meat Patty On eBay

eBay. You can find just about anything on there. I once sold a cassette tape of me insulting the winning bidder mercilessly for 10 minutes for a princely $5.40.
Anyone can make a buck on there with the right hook and sales pitch; it’s one of those glorious places where ambition isn’t a limiting factor.
So to whichever the stone-cold lunatic decided to list a clump of cooked meat that’s vaguely in the shape of Australia? We bloody well salute you.
Look at it. Look.
The item, currently located in Eugene, Oregon, was listed with a starting asking price of US$1,000, which arguably puts in jousting sticks-territory with regards to the whether or not the seller is dreamin’ (they are). Postage will set you back a pretty penny as well, with the small piece of meat carrying a hefty $30.74 postal fee. But then again, can you really put a price on precious cargo? This isn’t an impulsive joke buy; it’s an investment in your future.
The “Australia Sausage,” which the ad leads us to believe is both is both “rare” and “freshly frozen,” claims that the sausage patty – which surely now joins the fabled Jesus in a Toastie in the upper echelons of internet food Valhalla – is “naturally occurring” and “one of a kind.”
The listing does not provide a detailed description (critical details like the makeup of the meat, its weight and consistency, and how the sausage itself was prepared are glaring omissions), but then again when you’ve dug up a nugget of gold you don’t exactly need to tell people what type of dirt you found it in.
Besides, the most important piece of information is listed boldly, for all to see:
Same, TBH.
Feel like laying down a bid on this priceless heirloom, venerating yourself as an Australian hero for rescuing this clear national treasure from its seppo prison?
The item listing is right bloody here where, quite unbelievably, it currently has two bids.
Happy shopping!
Source: eBay.
Photo: eBay.