Is your dog becoming erratic, confused and convinced of the existence of aliens?
It’s probably all the cane toad’s fault.
Queensland’s uneasy relationship with the cane toad – punctuated on opposite ends of the adorability spectrum by the existence of cane toad cricket as an appropriate means of pest eradication and by the cane toad’s coronation as the Queensland Rugby League team mascot – continues unabated with Queensland vets warning dog owners of the dangers associated with canine addiction to the hallucinogenic back sweat excreted by cane toads, a naturally occurring psychoactive drug being consumed by pooches everywhere so that they can escape the bounds of reality and chase cars using hoverboards in the fourth dimension of consciousness.
According to a report in the Courier Mail today, “Queensland dogs are getting addicted to the hallucinogenic sweat that oozes off the backs of cane toads.” But that’s not all. Such is their addiction, “vets warn that some dogs are so desperate for a fix they deliberately hunt down the amphibians to stimulate the excretion of the deadly poison, then lick their prey. Like all addicts, the pooches are risking their lives for their cheap thrill.”
Are you concerned that your noticeably moody Pomeranian might be taking psychoactive substances and not telling you about it? Jonathon Cochrane from the University of Queensland’s School of Veterinary Science said that common signs to look out for in “serial lickers” include an unresponsive demeanour, spacing out in the middle distance, and reacting to visions that simply aren’t there. A giant anthropomorphic newspaper named Horatio who commits hate crimes against dogs who misbehave, for instance.
“To say a dog or a cat is having an hallucination is impossible, but some do star gaze or track something across the room that isn’t there and others just stare out of the cage while we’re monitoring them,” he said.
Cairns Veterinary Clinic Veterinarian Dallas McMillan advised clients to keep their dogs inside if suspected of addiction to sweet, sweet cane toad sweat. “Some dogs even seem to become seemingly addicted to the “high” from the toads,” he wrote in a recent newsletter. “If your dog repeatedly gets poisoned by cane toads, you should consider keeping them inside, especially at night and when it is raining.”
Then again, you might be depriving them of the best night of their life.
Via The Courier Mail
