Fuck’s SAKE.

So while there are some extremely serious issues that need dealing with in Federal Parliament, here we are again with a real-life elected senator using her time to rail against an arbitrary food label which for all intents and purposes serves the same function as the Heart Foundation tick.

It’s Easter this weekend, for those of you who’d forgotten. And while you’re all silently woo-ing about the looming four-day weekend ahead, be it known that apparently this means there’s a storm approaching.

Because, as it would turn out, some chocolate manufacturers have had the sheer temerity to let certain people know their products are ok to consume by declaring them halal certified.

Pauline Hanson, a Senator receiving taxpayer salary, is having absolutely bloody none of it. And has gone out of her way this morning to advise you against committing the grave sin against decent Australia that is *buying Cadbury chocolate*.

Amid a rambling update of the progress of her constant push for the Government to look into third-party food certifications – which by the way not only already happened back in 2015 when the Government found no link between halal and terrorist funding, but it also includes labels like ‘kosher‘ ‘Australian made‘ and other harmless stuff no one ordinarily gives a flying fuck about – Hanson gushingly recommends you instead buy Lindt or Darrell Lea this easter with all the delivery and conviction of a workplace induction video.

Firstly, the bolt of awareness the shoots through her just as she realises she’s about to put her arm squarely on a barbed wire fence is spectacular.

Secondly, the halal-friendly Cadbury eggs have already been handed out in Parliament house last Easter, by Cory Bernardi no less; WHERE WERE YOU THEN, PAULINE (not elected, you were not elected at that point).

Thirdly:

Ahh yes. Easter. The celebration of the death and resurrection of a fabled man in Israel in around 30AD, observed on a date during a fixed period of the Gregorian calendar that roughly follows the lunar cycle, in accordance with rules first established in 325AD by the First Council of Nicaea, evolved over time as the evolution and eventual splinter of a variety of arms of the Latin Church and Protestantism spread throughout the northern hemisphere, eventually landing in Australia after the First Fleet arrived and forcibly imposed European rule on the land and manifesting today largely as a retail holiday co-opted by confectionary manufacturers in a consumer-based push for chocolate eggs and hot cross buns which most people used to get pissed for four days and watch footy on the couch.

Y’know. The PRECIOUS TRADITIONAL AUSTRALIAN holiday that must be protected at all costs.

Source: Pauline Hanson/Facebook.