It’s A Fkn Christmas Miracle ‘Coz Amazon Is Now Selling That Amazing Cocaine Santa Sweater

It’s a Christmas miracle because *that* incredible (potentially offensive) ‘Cocaine Santa’ sweater is back, and it’s already an Amazon bestseller.

In case you missed it, Walmart Canada found themselves in some hot water earlier this week for selling a Christmas sweater depicting Santa getting in the festive spirit with a few lines of cocaine.

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According to VICE, the sweater was sold by a third-party, much like how anyone can sell their stuff on Amazon.

“These sweaters, sold by a third-party seller on, do not represent Walmart’s values and have no place on our website. We have removed these products from our marketplace.”

But the only thing better than the sweater was the truly *chefs kiss* product description.

“We all know how snow works. It’s white, powdery and the best snow comes straight from South America. That’s bad news for jolly old St. Nick, who lives far away in the North Pole. That’s why Santa really likes to savour the moment when he gets his hands on some quality grade A Colombian snow.”

Maybe it didn’t fit Walmart’s family-friendly brand, but the sweater was truly incredible and it was destined to become a bestseller.

Thankfully, the glorious holiday sweater is now being sold directly on Amazon as the “Cocaine Santa let it snow Christmas sweater Sweatshirt”. 

The sweater, which is “perfect for cozy days with your family”, has already hit #1 in the Women’s Novelty Sweatshirts category on Amazon.

cocaine santa

As a serious Christmas sweater fiend, it is my strong personal belief that everybody should own at least one festive jumper.

Who cares if it’s 47 degrees, set the air conditioner to a crisp 7C and pretend Australia isn’t a fiery hell right now. Or, if you don’t want to rack up a $1000 electricity bill, bring back Christmas in July and rock this bad boy in winter.

Being December 14, this amazing sweater is unlikely to arrive in time for you to piss off your super-religious relatives over Boxing Day brunch, but why not stockpile for next year’s holiday events?

For a measly $31.99USD, you could solidify your position as the problem child of the family or the inappropriate aunty or uncle.

You can purchase the sweater here.