We stress about a bunch of crap when we’re young, only to find out that (a lot of the time) we really didn’t have to. We’ve partnered with Vic Uni to show you there is a bunch of things you don’t have to stress about right now (your ATAR included). If you need more advice on what y’can do with your score, check out the VU site / get in touch with their course advisors HERE.


28 Things We’d Tell Our Hormonal Teenage Selves If Time Machines Existed

It’s quite a disgusting time that, if you’ve surpassed it, should be revisited only to acknowledge making it out the other side. I, for one, was a colossal bitch who was nothing but a nuisance to my parents, siblings, teachers, and, well, anyone who bothered me with their mere existence.

Whether it’s the hormones, the pressures of figuring out what the flaming hell it is that you want to do with your life or coming across your very first stray pube, there’s a reason for the 1,353 high school shows on television – that pubescent shit is dramatic.

But as people who’ve lived and breathed it are aware, there is light at the end of that dark and twisty tunnel. It can make you feel a lil’ dumb for worrying so feckin’ much, and we don’t want those currently enduring the chaos to do that if it can be prevented. I’ve asked around, and here’s what the people are telling me they would like to go back and tell their teenage selves. 

THERE’S SOOOOOO MANY FISH IN THAT SEA

28 Things We’d Tell Our Hormonal Teenage Selves If Time Machines Existed

1.You and your 16-year-old boyfriend are not going to end up together forever, don’t sweat over him. Or anyone else until at least your mid twenties”. – Chloe Gjedsted, 28.

2. “’Darkstorm_3000′ in the Harry Potter chatroom is not a Pacey Witter-looking 15 year old guy who is totally into you. He is, in fact, a 50 year old creep.”Melissa Mason, 30.

STOP BEING SO FAKE

28 Things We’d Tell Our Hormonal Teenage Selves If Time Machines Existed

3. “Listen to your own instincts, don’t be influenced by others.”Tracey Reid, 56.

4. “I’d tell my pre-teen/early-teen self to stop pretending to enjoy playing Rugby Union and simply give it up. I’ve since told my Mum I loathed everything about it and she’s all like, ‘Why didn’t you just tell us, we wouldn’t have cared’. Wish I’d stopped much earlier then when I finally did (age 15) after 8 years of hating it something fierce.”Mitch Feltscheer, 27.

5. I would take social standings less seriously.” – Courtney Barnett, 27.

6. It’s not uncool to care about learning and trying hard.” – Chloe Gjedsted, 28.

7. “Trust me when I tell you – you are ‘queer’, you are a gay boy. I made the mistake of not having sex until I was 23! I loved being with another man and felt relieved that I finally knew who I was.” – Elton John, 69 (via Dear Me: A Letter To My Sixteen-Year-Old Self).

BE SMART, BUT LIKE, NOT TOO SMART

28 Things We’d Tell Our Hormonal Teenage Selves If Time Machines Existed

8.I’d probs make a point of saving my moola much better so I could’ve travelled more or bought a house sooner. In saying that I’m happy I lived out of home and spent all my cash at Terrigal Pub so yolo I guess.” – James Grahame, 26.

9.Learn to drive so you don’t have to do it in your late twenties.” – Chloe Gjedsted, 28.

STRESS LESS YA’ STRESSHEAD

28 Things We’d Tell Our Hormonal Teenage Selves If Time Machines Existed

10. “It’s ok not to know what you wanna do with your life right away. Just try a bunch of shit and eventually you’ll find something you really enjoy. Follow that shit like it’s the light at the end of the tunnel.” – Matt Hopkins, 28.

11. “Stop stressing about that assignment. That test score. Those deadlines. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not going to matter. It’ll all work out in the end. Life is a beautiful mess and you just gotta embrace it, kid.”Whitney Higginson, 24.

12. “I wish I didn’t care so much about my UAI (ATAR) result. Legit no one has ever asked me what it was, and tbh I don’t even remember it myself. ” – Chantelle Schmidt, 25.


13.
“To chill out, and not put so much pressure on myself to over-achieve in every area. So not worth the stress!”Steph Lewis, 24.

‘SCUSE THE CLICHE, BUT THINGS WILL GET BETTER

28 Things We’d Tell Our Hormonal Teenage Selves If Time Machines Existed

14.I would have told my adolescent self that even though I may have been dealt a certain hand of cards, it doesn’t mean I can’t go back to the deck and pick a new hand. I may have not have had a choice in certain situations but I always have a choice in how I behave and respond to them” – Telaine CowdreyReach Facilitator, 23.

15. “Pause. Stop being so tremulous and shaky. You’ll ‘come out’ at the right time. You’ll shed the beliefs you cling to now. You’ll shatter your tiny-minded expectations.”Luke Bodley, 23.

16. “Don’t believe everything that people tell you. You are worth more than you realise.”Karen Ralph, 55.

DON’T GO TOO HARD TOO SOON

28 Things We’d Tell Our Hormonal Teenage Selves If Time Machines Existed

17. “Don’t waste the best years of your life high as a kite.” Ash Craig, 30.

18. “Stay away from drugs, they’re a waste of time.”Elton John, 69 (via Dear Me: A Letter To My Sixteen-Year-Old Self)

CARPE DIEM & ALL THAT

28 Things We’d Tell Our Hormonal Teenage Selves If Time Machines Existed

19. “When an opportunity comes your way. Don’t over think it. Take it and run with it.” – Donna Glowaski, 52.

20.Do more bar crawls coz you ain’t going to be able to leave venues after 1.30am in the future.” – Rhiahne Ralph, 26.

21.Immerse yourself in as much music as possible. The music in the future isn’t even close to being as good.” – Chloe Gjedsted, 28.

22. “Stop thinking ‘I could do it if I tried’ and actually try.”Chris Daniel, 28.

STOP BEING SUCH A NEEDY BRAT

28 Things We’d Tell Our Hormonal Teenage Selves If Time Machines Existed

23. “I wish I was nicer to my parents when I was younger – I feel like a right asswhole for how I would speak to them sometimes. They didn’t deserve that tone.”James Grahame, 26.

24. “Spend more time with family – quality time – you never know when they will be gone.”Jarrad Schmidt, 28.

25.Probs shouldn’t have led so many people on.” – Lauren Williams.

26.Be a better formal date.” – Chris Daniel, 27.

27. “I was horrible to my dad and I really regret that now. Mainly because as I grew up, I also realised that my dad is actually the coolest guy and he did some pretty wild stuff when he was younger. I would have loved to have known him when he was my age because we would have been the best of friends. We are super close and cool now, but I wish I could take back some of the things I said to him, because I think it really hurt his feelings and I never realised how much until later in life.”Lucy Curtin, 30.

28.Make more friends, don’t be a wanker to girls because it’s not cool and you should work to be the best if that’s what you want.” – Simon Parsons, 27.

OH HINDSIGHT IS A HELL OF A THING, INNIT?

If you’re able to avoid it then do that like the plague, friends. If you’ve got your ATAR results coming through soon, take a leaf outta all the books of the people above and stress less.

Vic Uni
wants to make sure that your scores don’t get in the way of the bigger pic – they’re more interested in what you represent as person, rather than focusing on a number / score. If you need more advice on what to do with your result, check out the VU site / get in touch with their course advisors HERE. You can also get around ’em on FB HERE, Twitter HERE and Insta HERE.

For more inspo on embracing your golden days, plz watch / listen to the below on repeat:



Photo: The O.C.