Mike Tyson, known previously for giving people longterm brain injuries and being a terrible human being, appeared on the fun-sounding Fox Sports U.S. segment Celebrities Throwing Sharp Objects Blindfolded last night and did something of such staggering improbability that even the combined wisdom of the voices inside Mike Tyson’s head would struggle to explain it. His explanation? He’s a “Shaolin Monk”. I mean, I guess? We’re not doubting your honesty on this one Mike Tyson but we’re pretty sure that at the one minute mark you were about to publicly announce you were an alien but then thought better of it.
