When you gotta go, you gotta go.
Cycling might be one of the trickier sports to have to navigate the ring of nature’s call in. It’s not like the locker rooms travel with the pack of bikes as they snake their way across hundreds of kilometres of open roads. And you can’t exactly just pull into a servo to hang a slash unless you’re willing to steer into the skid, pick yourself up a Maxibon, and cruise past the finish line stone, motherless last.
There definitely isn’t a textbook on the matter, but if there were it’d pretty much consist of this.
A cyclist competing in the one-day Nokere Koerse race through the Flanders region of Belgium overnight has hung a sneaky mid-race slash with technique so impeccable they should be studying it at the AIS.
The rider – unidentified at this time by media outlets – was part of the peloton group with just over 43km remaining in the race, when he calmly slipped to the side of the pack, pivoted his body on his seat, whipped out his codger, and drained the lizard. All while maintaining reasonable speed.
— Eurosport UK (@Eurosport_UK) March 15, 2017
Look at that posture. The control. The aim. My god. It’s magnificent.
If a mere GIF of the one true Whizz Kid isn’t enough for you, the actual video footage of the great urination is equally as spectacular.
Whoever it was did not end up winning the race (Frenchman Nacer Bouhanni took line honours), but for today at the very least they take a much more prestigious title: Champion of Pissing.