Just pretend it’s not happening, you guys.
The haka – brilliant Maori war cry, noted PED (performance enhancing dance) and traditional precursor to the All Blacks eviscerating the Wallabies – had its intended effect on a slack-jawed Team USA who reacted to its performance at the FIBA World Cup in Spain overnight with terror, awe and befuddlement.
Observe…
Derrick Rose watches his pet cat use cutlery for the first time.
James Harden witnesses Dwight Howard hit a free throw.
Kenneth Faried receives news that Pokemon are real and have besieged downtown Los Angeles.
Team USA ended up winning 98-71. But whatever, this is the coolest thing that’ll happen all tournament.
