Recently, millennials were ever so innocently minding their own business and doing their thing; adulting to the best of their abilities, eating their smashed av’s like good millennials do, plant mumming like lady bosses and doing cheeky BuzzFeed quizzes when all of a sudden, the rug was savagely ripped out from under them in one smooth motion, leaving them angry, bitter and confused. Many of them will never look at themselves the same way again.
The reason? That fateful Tik Tok comment thread in which Gen Zs roasted millennials so hardcore that the neighbours could smell it and called to see if there were any leftovers.
“Is there a barista in here? Cause this roast just got dark!”
This shooketh my generation to the literal core, as millennials have always thought they were the second coming of Christ, here to change the world for the better. The older generations are either jealous or just don’t get it. We decided to lead the charge for the future generations to come, but the first generation up said… “Nah, we good.”
Luckily, my Gen Z siblings and cousins (21, 18, 17 and 14) have been prepping me for this moment for years by making me the butt of every joke in the group chat, sparing me the shock. I’m proud to say I’ve now been hating myself for years.
After becoming aware of the hate coming from Gen Z, my editor asked me to go directly to the source to find more. I asked my cousins, siblings and all of their friends what they hate the most about me and my peers, which was a super fun assignment. Here’s what they said.
On Social Media
“Why do you feel the need to IG story everything you do? Are you trying to prove to each other you have lives?”
“They complain about not getting enough views, and they are fucking 30 years old. LOL get a life.”
“They complain about the social anxiety social media has given them yet that same person will never fail to post their Spotify recaps or some shit like that.”
“You think “being a 90s kid” is a whole personality.”
“Living in or liking Newtown isn’t a personality trait.”
“You think it’s cute that you don’t have you lives together. It’s like you are trying to out man child/ woman child each other by bragging about your cute failures on Twitter”.”
“The amount of money you all spend of exxy breakfasts/ brunches for your IG stories weekly makes that makes that whole avo toast debacle pretty true, TBH.”
“2000s teen music fucking sucks and I think you all fail to realise that your collective emo phase still hasn’t ended.”
“They think drinking red wine makes them mature. It’s a drink. That’s capitalism.”
“Gossip Girl is so shit. So is The OC. My god. You glamourise Effy and Cassie from Skins. They have mental disorders, clearly.”
“Stop complaining about Triple J, just because it isn’t for you anymore doesn’t mean it’s not good.”
Just Millennial Tings
“You want to tear down capitalism but you’re too nervous to even look a Macca’s cashier in the eye.”
“Honestly, millennials are just afraid of growing up. They are so childish with their need to identify themselves constantly through brands, whether that be their Hogwarts house to down to what kind of coffee they drink. It’s a clutch. They buy things the don’t need to present themselves to the world in a certain way, why? No one cares about you, you are the only one who is looking and it’s just leaving you broke for life and in a midlife crisis by 25. They will probably go back to living at home when they are 50. Priorities are soooo fucked up for millennials.”
“You want to implement communism but you don’t know who Stalin is.”
“If you really loved and accepted yourself you wouldn’t feel the need to talk about it all the god damn time. Get over yourself the world is burning lol.”
“They rely on the rest of the world to do things for them. They defs rely on Gen Z to sign petitions, protest, donate etc. They are in the perfect position and age to make real change but they are too busy trying to make their parents happy.”
“Bystanders, chaotic, neutral.”
“Literally the generation that first wore the Indian headdress to festivals and now you are claiming that they are the generation that stopped cultural appropriation??!?.”
“You pay out our generation yet you hop on every trend and slang we create.”
“Sorry Van, ily.”