Much Like Jesus, The Shit Weather Is Back From The Dead This Week In Sydney And Melbourne


The weather is a cruel mistress. Sydney and Melbourne folks have enjoyed glorious sunny days for (most of) the Easter long weekend, but I’m here to tell you that it won’t last much longer.

This is especially upsetting for us Sydneysiders, given we’re basically living in a bog after an extremely rainy start to 2022. We’ve had some of the wettest months on record and it is only bloody April, so who knows what the rest of the year will bring.

The Bureau of Meteorology came through with some bad news for the coming week and tweeted that after our mostly lovely Easter weekend weather-wise a cold front would in fact be coming to ruin our fun.

Easter Monday already brought the rain to Melbourne, more coming, with showers forecast to hang around til Thursday according to the BoM website.

On top of the rain, Melbourne’s gonna cop some frosty 9°C mornings next week and tops of 17°C on Tuesday and Thursday. So get those footy scarves out and wrap them around your face, because as we’d all say in 2014 when Game of Thrones was peaking — winter is coming.

Sydney won’t be quite so icy, but according to BoM the mercury will drop from a lovely 26°C on Easter Monday down to 21°C on Thursday. Some accompanying showers will kick off in the back end of the week, because it never fucking ends!

The Sydney rain is inescapable at the moment, so get your washing done ASAP and air out your mouldy, damp, overpriced hovel before the wet weather returns.

We did write a warning that the wet weather would hang around til July, so don’t say we didn’t tell you.