WATCH: Holy Shit The ‘Emoji Movie’ Teaser Looks Dick-Splittingly Awful

You know that thing some people have been bleating on about for years about Hollywood being out of original ideas?

Hollywood’s finally out of original ideas, you guys.
The Emoji Movie,’ which came to life when some studio exec looked down at their phone one day, has a long-dreaded teaser trailer, and it is all your fears about such a thing magnified to infinity.
The family film, which is based on the tiny pictures used primarily to substitute for sex things (peach followed by eggplant), sports the voice talents of T.J. Miller, Ilana Glazer, James Corden, Steven Wright, and an unnamed someone playing the role of “Poop Daddy Emoji” jesus fucking christ.
It dropped its first teaser today and… oh, lord. It is bad. Bad.

Oy. What’s the worst bit? The fact that they insisted on releasing the teaser in portrait, smartphone-sized resolution for all formats? Steven Wright saying the word “meh” with such resigned listlessness that it might actually break a literal fourth wall somewhere? The knowledge that someone, somewhere maintained enthusiasm long enough for this to be given multiple millions of dollars?
Nah, you know what?
It’s the fact that there’s a character named Poop Daddy.
POOP. DADDY.

It hits cinemas in August. Crane your necks.

Source: YouTube.

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