As ANZAC Day approaches Aussies around the country are bracing themselves for the gruelling pain of having Thursday off for a public holiday, returning to work for the Friday, and then having a regular two-day weekend instead of the superior alternative: a four-day weekend. This is why the kind folks at Uber have put together an excuse generator to help give everyone a reason to score the Friday off and take the extended break they deserve.
In coordination with YouGov, Uber conducted a nationwide study which found two very important pieces of data that highlight there is truly nothing more Australian than lying, and wanting a day off.
The first finding from the cheeky survey projected that nearly 4 million Australians are likely to chuck a sickie on the day after ANZAC Day to give themselves an extra-long weekend.
However, it also discovered that two-thirds of people working in Australia’s capital cities reckon they wouldn’t chuck a sickie, based purely on the fact they would be too scared to come up with an adequate excuse that would convince their boss to give them the day off.
Now I dunno who these two-thirds of Aussies are, but I’m built different. I love spinning a cheeky story to score a day off. Coming up with excuses is the easy part. Here are a few I find always good to whip out in times of need:
- You are fixing a gas leak in your share house because your landlord is the worst.
- You just got called in for jury duty, but it’s okay, you’ll dodge the trial because you care about your work.
- Your partner’s parent died. (Most people go with their own grandparent, but the parent of a partner is far more original and therefore less likely to raise concern.)
Problem is, as trusty as these three excuses are, we can’t all use them, think about it.
If 4 million people go to use them on Friday then everyone’s bosses are going to get suspicious at best, and at worst will fear that someone is being criminally charged for serial killing people’s parents with gas-leak explosions.
Uber creates the ‘excuse generator’
This is where Uber has come to save the day, by producing an “excuse generator” which anyone can use to produce the perfect excuse to send their boss and score the Friday off.
Simply visit the Uber One Excuse Generator’s site here, and fill in the following crucial details to fill out your personalised perfect excuse.
- Your name.
- Your position at work.
- Your boss’s name.
- And how much your boss likes you out of 10.
Simply fill in those easy details, and using the power of AI you’ll quickly have a sample email to send your boss that is sure to raise no questions.* (*Lack of questioning not guaranteed.)
Here’s an example it generated for a friend!
I know if I were a boss, I’d let my workers have the day off if they sent me that email.
And once you’ve secured yourself the day off with the excuse generator why not treat yourself again?
Uber is also providing $1 million in discounts to Uber One members who make purchases on Uber and Uber Eats between April 24 and April 28, to help those lucky folk make the best of their extra-long weekend.
In the immortal words of former Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke: “Any boss who sacks anyone for not turning up today is a bum!”
So what are ya hesitant about? It’s a public holiday already, and you deserve the time to self-love in the most Aussie way possible.
