Two Australian marble bars are in the news this week, and both could definitely be classified as broken.

The first is the actual Western Australian town of Marble Bar; notable for being hotter than the Sun itself really bloody hot, residents are currently expecting to slog through six consecutive days of temperatures above 44 degrees. 

Nevertheless, the marble bar we’re going to focus on is the one attached to the table #rekt by unknown members of the Liberal Party at a rager following Tony Abbott’s ousting. You know, this one:

Well, since the Abbott government’s record of curbing the effects of climate change is laughable, they’ve decided to fix this marble bar instead; finally, a Senate committee hearing has confirmed the ex-PM fronted the $2027.30 (!) repair bill. 

The Advertiser reports that figure went to repairing the table’s base as well as the top, leaving us all to wonder what kind of vigorous movement was necessary to fuck it up so completely.

The paper also states the hearing held back on taking action against the cleaners who reported the damage, which implies someone, somewhere wanted to take action on the cleaners who reported the damage. 

Now, the fact it’s finally fixed almost feels like closure. An metaphorical end to the Abbott leadership, even. We’ll always remember you though, marble table.


Tony Abbott Had To Drop A Cool $2K To Repair That Infamous Busted Table
Source: News Limited.
Photo: Twitter.