Oh, LORDY, Australian politics can be a riot sometimes. It’s the Senate‘s estimates hearings today, and not only did the news surface that a marble table was broken during Tony Abbott‘s post-Libspill rager, but Penny Wong and Cory Bernardi argued over whether it was ‘smashed’, or simply ‘damaged’.

YES. THIS IS A SERIOUS DEBATE THAT THEY HAD.

This is the table in question, and as you can see, there’s a few pieces missing:

Penny Wong & Cory Bernardi At War Over Marble Table Smashed At Libspill Rager

And this is Penny Wong hearing about it, and being the most unimpressed anyone has ever been:

John Ryan: We were told there were pieces of the table there.

Penny Wong: Pieces?

John Ryan: Pieces, yes.

Penny Wong: How do you – what, pieces of the marble broke?

John Ryan: Some of the pieces of marble were found by the cleaners, yes.

Penny Wong: Quite a party.

**** PENNY WONG IS NOT IMPRESSED BY YOUR SHENANIGANS, TONY ****

There is significant speculation that the table was broken by someone dancing on it, which would mean that Tony Abbott’s crew reached the point of white girl wasted. This is not confirmed. There are also significant rumours that Liberal minister Jamie Briggs, who was confined to a wheelchair the day after the party, broke it. He has denied this.
Penny Wong & Cory Bernardi At War Over Marble Table Smashed At Libspill Rager
Then Penny Wong requested a photo of the table, and indeed, it is in pieces:

And luckily for all of us, Penny vs Cory’s showdown was preserved forevermore in the Twitter feed of one Charles Croucher:

Cory Bernardi then asked if perhaps it got damaged because it lacked structural integrity? To which Liberal senator Dean Smith helpfully added that “it might have been a crook table to begin with.”

Y’know, that. Or someone dancing on it. Who can be sure? And #TableShaming tbh.

But quite frankly: