Oh, LORDY, Australian politics can be a riot sometimes. It’s the Senate‘s estimates hearings today, and not only did the news surface that a marble table was broken during Tony Abbott‘s post-Libspill rager, but Penny Wong and Cory Bernardi argued over whether it was ‘smashed’, or simply ‘damaged’.
YES. THIS IS A SERIOUS DEBATE THAT THEY HAD.
This is the table in question, and as you can see, there’s a few pieces missing:
And this is Penny Wong hearing about it, and being the most unimpressed anyone has ever been:
DPS grilled on damage to marble table, during Abbott’s party in Min Wing of Parli House after ousted as PM @abcnews pic.twitter.com/LHtrnPlgCf
— Matthew Doran (@MattDoran91) October 19, 2015
John Ryan: We were told there were pieces of the table there.
Penny Wong: Pieces?
John Ryan: Pieces, yes.
Penny Wong: How do you – what, pieces of the marble broke?
John Ryan: Some of the pieces of marble were found by the cleaners, yes.
Penny Wong: Quite a party.
**** PENNY WONG IS NOT IMPRESSED BY YOUR SHENANIGANS, TONY ****
tfw you wanted to make a difference but end up investigating a table smashed by dancing ministers Pic: @mpbowers pic.twitter.com/YtM9xBH8a8
— Helen Davidson (@heldavidson) October 19, 2015
There is significant speculation that the table was broken by someone dancing on it, which would mean that Tony Abbott’s crew reached the point of white girl wasted. This is not confirmed. There are also significant rumours that Liberal minister Jamie Briggs, who was confined to a wheelchair the day after the party, broke it. He has denied this.
Then Penny Wong requested a photo of the table, and indeed, it is in pieces:
This is one of greatest moment of Senator Penny Wong’s life and quite likely my own. #tonysparty pic.twitter.com/uuZFPq6Jym
— Samantha Maiden (@samanthamaiden) October 19, 2015
And luckily for all of us, Penny vs Cory’s showdown was preserved forevermore in the Twitter feed of one Charles Croucher:
Cory Bernardi: I think it was a damaged table
Penny Wong: it was smashed… when there are bits of marble everywhere it’s smashed
— Charles Croucher (@ccroucher9) October 19, 2015
Penny Wong: Bits of marble are being found, it sounds pretty smashed to me
Cory Bernardi: They could be chips… large chips
— Charles Croucher (@ccroucher9) October 19, 2015
Cory Bernardi then asked if perhaps it got damaged because it lacked structural integrity? To which Liberal senator Dean Smith helpfully added that “it might have been a crook table to begin with.”
Y’know, that. Or someone dancing on it. Who can be sure? And #TableShaming tbh.
But quite frankly:
Parliament should NEVER repair this table. It is history. It is art. It must be EXHIBITED AT THE NATIONAL MUSEUM https://t.co/DxHywfWEKY
— Samantha Maiden (@samanthamaiden) October 19, 2015
