The Tesla Cybertruck turned plenty of heads when it was first announced in 2019, due to its unorthodox design and initially affordable price-point. Now as the vehicle is released onto the market, heads are turning again — at neck-snapping speeds.
Elon Musk bragged in 2019 that the Tesla Cybertruck would be bullet proof, smash proof, and crash proof. He then smashed one of a Cybertruck’s windows with a steel ball and proved two of those claims wrong.
So, with the crash test footage recently released, it’s time to fact check the third!
Tesla shared the crash test footage as part of the vehicle’s official launch, which depicted a full frontal crash at 35mph — equivalent to 56kmph.
#Cybertruck crash test pic.twitter.com/QnQbyJjPfq
— AI DRIVR (@AIDRIVR) November 30, 2023
Musk bragged that the new Tesla vehicle was “roll proof” and that “if you ever get into an argument with another car, you’ll win.” Evidently, the vehicle giving the driver a sense of invincibility is a major element of the Cybertruck’s marketing.
Which is why in the footage you see the over $60,000 vehicle seems to bounce off any surface it hits, hardly crumping.
Looks safer, but the thing is: crumpling is actually a good thing for vehicles to do in a crash.
It means that shock from the impact is absorbed by the body of the car, decreasing the amount of force felt by the people inside the vehicle.
This simple physics fact has been picked up by the good people of the internet, who have absolutely demolished the Cybertruck for its unsafe design.
I bet being in a 35 MPH crash in a Cybertruck would feel so good for the first two seconds
— eBay jackets & hats (@3five9) December 2, 2023
Good thing they’re able to demolish it this way, because it would absolutely demolish any person inside it during a crash.
me flying out my cybertruck after getting into a crash (I was going 20 mph) https://t.co/mPVj5GSa9W pic.twitter.com/WDjkQtXmOu
— Kenny Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo™ (@AUUGGGHHHHHHH) December 2, 2023
POV: you hit a bollard in your cyber truck going 5mph https://t.co/JM8AiRzsNX pic.twitter.com/mc5bdvbBSs
— Louis 🇬🇧🌹⚓️ (@louiscarpethead) December 1, 2023
Some users pointed out that even at a relatively slow speed the vehicle would kill “the fragile meat sacks inside,” and pondered how Musk might attempt to market this flaw as a feature.
The cybertruck has such shit-poor crumple zones that the force of a 35mph front impact, after killing the fragile meatsacks inside, is still enough to snap the rear axle. pic.twitter.com/PQViJvBzOH
— Anosognosiogenesis (@pookleblinky) December 1, 2023
35 mph crash kills all the occupants and absolutely destroys the car beyond repair in standard vehicle safety testing
— Patty O’ Furniture (@patomicbomb) December 1, 2023
Elon: the Cybertruck can briefly survive a volley of arrows from a mongol horde https://t.co/wMJqPqpz6L
Meanwhile one user made the observation that the combination of “indestructible” features the Cybertruck has, actually makes it even more difficult to get help in a crash.
the firefighters trying to save me after i crash my cybertruck going 15mph: pic.twitter.com/C04LAYFouQ
— Payload Princess (@ZorpalodLover) December 1, 2023
The best memes of all though have to go to the people who highlighted the role that Natural Selection plays in what vehicle some people choose to die in. History always repeats.
see this is great because anyone dumb enough to drive/own a cybertruck will simply Become the crumple zone in any crash with how rigid this thing is https://t.co/uKssQjH0z5
— ‘girl’ 🔆 (@PUPPYM0DER) December 1, 2023
fact 1: cybertrucks have no crumple zone
— gryphoneer.bsky.social (@OneRadChee) December 1, 2023
fact 2: cybertrucks were given to tesla investors
conclusion: a titanic sub moment but with a cybertruck is imminent https://t.co/WPeMlttYNj pic.twitter.com/KsW8cbWu5m
This week Musk also faced business trouble with his ownership of X (formerly Twitter) which is still struggling to find advertisers willing to stay on the platform.
Musk called out massive companies such as Apple and Disney for pulling their advertisements from his social media space, by charmingly saying “go fuck yourselves” to the boycotting brands.
Surprisingly this didn’t bring them back, and X now faces an unknown future.
Which means the moral of this story, if anything, is that Elon Musk sure knows how to pull off a spectacular car crash.
