Clench Those Butt Cheeks ‘Cos A 2-Hour Flight From Sydney To London Could Be On The Way

A two-hour flight between London and Sydney sounds like it could only be possible via teleportation or a Charizard with a fly ability, but now it could happen IRL via space flights with a cooked catch.

According to the Australian Financial Review, Britain’s Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) is looking at suborbital space flights that could easily cut a bunch of hours off air travel. However, one of the main questions behind their research is whether our bodies can handle the impact of gravitational forces.

Well, OFC, it is a dream to be able to travel across the world so quickly, but with that convenience, there’s gotta be a catch. Apparently, to be a passenger on one of these sci-fi movie-like flights, you’re gonna need to know all the impact-reducing exercises, such as tensing up your lower legs and *checks notes* clenching your buttocks. So if you like leg day at the gym, I think this flight could be perfect for you!

But if you’re unfamiliar with those, don’t worry. Tensing up your legs and clenching of thy cheeks will be involuntary on this ride.

Butt Clench GIFs | Tenor

After all, with the suborbital space flight, passengers will be exiting and re-entering the lower atmosphere, so your body will definitely be reacting in different ways. When re-entering the atmosphere, there can be a pressure of six times gravity for up to 15 seconds, per the Australian Financial Review.

The other effects of entering and re-entering the atmosphere also include high heart rates and blood pressure, oxygen deficiency, loss of blood to the head, breathlessness and temporary loss of peripheral vision.

Yikes, might as well sedate me by then.

The Australian Financial Review mentioned the CAA have already studied how many passengers would be impacted by these effects during suborbital flights.

Dr Ryan Anderton, the CAA’s medical lead for the flight, told The Times, “What we’re trying to do in research is determine which individuals might be more susceptible and what we might have to screen them for.”

In two research groups, with participants aged 32 to 80 and most of them being pilots, two-thirds of the participants reported “unpleasant” chest heaviness and breathing difficulties. Another two older participants also said they experienced throat constriction. 80 per cent said they had partial loss of vision, and one-third of subjects said their visions completely blacked out when they were seated upright.

Some people ended up having irregular heart rhythms.

According to research by the CAA, suborbital space flights could become a thing in 10 years time, but at this point, as a 23-year-old girly who is suffering from terrible asthma, I think I’m good with the cruises and the long-ass flights.

I’ll stick to clenching my butt on rollercoasters and hip thrusts at the gym.