‘Strayan Legends, Future Nobel Prize Winners Developing A Hangover-Free Beer

Not many advancements in science are so stirring as to make all who gaze upon sit up as one and boldly declare “FUCKEN OATH,” but this is definitely one.

Though in recent times science in this great, sunburnt country of ours might have been somewhat maligned from a political standpoint, things like this are a prime example of the staggering heights that we, as a collective nation, can achieve.
In news that’s sure to send waves of fear through the land’s fish & chips industry, a team of researchers from Queensland’s Griffith University Menzies Health Institute are on the way towards developing a beer that you consume freely without the nasty consequences of the hangover that usually follows.
The research they’re putting in revolves around the commonly-held belief that hangovers are, by and large, a product of dehydration caused by the diuretic nature of alcohol – i.e. when you sink bulk booze at the pub and piss like a bloody racehorse as a result.
So to combat that the crew, lead by Associate Professor Ben Desbrow – who from this point on should never have to pay for a beer again – is experimenting by taking the hydrating-aspects of sports drinks, namely electrolytes, and putting them into your Denzel Frothingtons.

“We’ve really concentrated on fluid rehydration initially, so looking at a beer that doesn’t leave you as dehydrated. Certainly dehydration has been proposed as being one of the factors that increases hangover severity. We know from previous experiments in other fluids that sodium content in particular has a large influence over rehydration. But in the context of alcohol that research is less well-established.”

The group is also interested in people’s abilities to down pint after pint of delicious, ice cold Froth Whitlams without tiring of the taste – a phenomena known as “flavour fatigue.”

“People stop drinking beer not because they get sick of the taste of it, but because they have to be mindful of the consequences, whether they’re trying to avoid a hangover or they have to drive a car or they run out of money.”

The group, clearly doing the Lord’s work here, are wary about sacrificing taste at the expense of scientific function as well. After all, it’s all well and good to to produce a slab of David Lee Froths that won’t rot your brain, but if they taste like the devil’s dick then no one outside of beer-bonging 16 year olds are going to buy it. And that’s only if it’s cheap.

“It’s always about finding that balance between taste and physiological response. You obviously aren’t going to have anyone drink anything that’s unpalatable.”

Though they might be a little ways off the final product just yet – the group has handed down their second set of findings into the matter – the good news is you, yes YOU, can give them a bit of a helping hand and gee up the project.

They’ve put together a survey that will better help them understand the true drinking habits of Australians, which in turn will help them with the levels and balance of electrolytes needed in order to produce a spew-proof brew.
So if you’re Australian, over 18 years old, and regularly snap the top off a few Stone Cold Steve Frothstinshit up the survey on the Griffith University website and give your new heroes a helping hand.
And in the meantime, if someone could start engraving their names on next year’s Australian Of The Year trophy, that would probably save everyone a lot of time.
via ABC News.