Well Fuck: Another Qantas Plane Has Been Forced To Land, Bringing It Up To 7 (!!!) This Week

Another Qantas plane was forced to land with a mechanical issue and I don’t know who Qantas pissed off, but they’ve clearly got next-level witch abilities because this shit is getting ridiculous.

Flight QF1608 was flying from Perth to Kalgoorlie in Western Australia when it was forced to circle back to Perth to land after it was met with a “minor issue”.

There’s no indicator as to what this “minor mechanical issue” is, but I can only assume that it’s the work of a powerful former Qantas customer with hex-like abilities.

The Fokker 100 (lmaooooo) aircraft left Perth at 3:50pm and was in the air for only 50 minutes before it safely landed… back in Perth.

Flightradar24 has gifted us with this gem that outlines flight QF1608’s flight path, and honestly, you’re just taking the piss at this point. I j’adore the little motion sickness squiggles in the top left corner as an extra fuck you to their passengers.

Flight QF1608’s flight track, courtesy of Flightradar24.

QF1608 is the seventh (7th!!!) Qantas plane in just over a week to nope the fuck out over mechanical issues.

The most notorious of these was the Qantas 737 aircraft that was travelling from Auckland to Sydney, making headlines after it issued a mayday call (that’s pilot-talk for “Oh shit, we’re fucked”) as it was halfway across the Tasman sea.

At one point, over 140,000 weirdos (myself included) were watching a tiny dot move across the sea on Flightradar24, anxiously awaiting what would happen at its landing. As it turned out, it was actually quite anti-climatic.

The pilot sheepishly downgraded their alert to PAN (possible assistance needed) after realising their melodramatic ways. The plane landed. People got off without realising they were on the #1 most-tracked flight in the world at that moment. Full celeb shit, tbh.

But that was just the beginning.

The day after on January 19, Qantas flight QF10 was bound for sunny Nadi, Fiji, but had to yeet back to Sydney after they were gifted with yet another “fault indicator” about another mysterious mechanical issue. Fun.

A few days later, three Qantas flights were diverted on the SAME DAY due to “engine and mechanical” issues.

And just this last Monday, another flight from Perth to Adelaide was turned back due to incomplete paperwork by the airline’s staff. You truly cannot make this shit up.

All flights have landed safely, but at this point, it’s hard not to hypothesise why Qantas is cursed.

Perhaps Shu, the Egyptian god of the air and supporter of the sky, has redacted his support of Qantas. Perhaps the combined powers of Virgos, Caps, and Taureans have finally found a way to take down their mortal enemy, air signs (Qantas is absolutely a Gemini). Perhaps a scorned passenger had enough of baggage handlers Rock Bottoming their suitcases into oblivion. We’ll truly never know.

In a statement last Friday, Qantas domestic and international chief executive Andrew David addressed the drama, saying that Qantas only averaged 60 air turnbacks each year.

“We understand that when you hear reports of planes turning around, it’s concerning,” he said in a statement.

“But people can be assured that aviation is built on safeguards, and one of those safeguards is that if something isn’t right, we take a conservative approach to the problem rather than pressing on.”

Tune in this time next week for another 12 (probably) Qantas fuck-ups. Until then.