Education Minister Christopher Pyne (pictured above, having a shit time) is having another crack at getting his much beloved, but vehemently opposed, University Deregulation legislation through the ever hostile Senate. Unfortunately for him, the Senate simply is not having a bar of it.
“Playing games with our scientists and research hasn’t seemed to have done the government any favours. I’ll have another very close look at what is finally put forward by the government and make a decision accordingly.”
The Government needs six of the eight crossbench votes to pass any legislation – working under the assumption that Labor and the Greens blanket vote against the Coalition – and in this area it seems extraordinarily unlikely to occur. Labor Senator Kim Carr announced intentions to table a senate motion for the Government to immediately release scientific infrastructure funding. The motion will be co-signed by Greens Senator Lee Rihannon, and six crossbench senators – Dio Wang, Glenn Lazarus, Jacqui Lambie, Ricky Muir, John Madigan, and Nick Xenophon.
“Memo to Christopher – you’re not in student politics any more,” Senator Xenophon said. “The research fund and the university reform should never have been linked in the first place.”
Whilst Lazarus, fresh off his conscious uncoupling with the Palmer United Party, also expressed his concerns at the move in a rather blunt fashion.
“This is disgusting behaviour and demonstrates the appalling ethics of this government.“
Meanwhile, Senator Lambie, who is currently working from a hospital bed following back surgery and battling a subsequent infection, stated that she’d be seeking early release from hospital to make it to Canberra in order to help vote down the legislation.
“Hell or high water I’m going to be there. I’ve actually got an attachment in my arm so if I start to go down a bit I can just go straight to the hospital and they can put some more antibiotics through me if it needs to happen.”
“I said we won’t be held to ransom and we won’t be intimidated, so in doing that to the crossbenchers he’s not making mates.”
“This makes my blood boil. It is just another desperate, juvenile and bumbling attempt to blackmail the Senate. He should just resign or the PM should just sack him.”
However, one of the crossbenchers has pledged to vote in favour of the legislation – Family First Senator Bob Day, who is supporting the bill because – in his opinion – it would apparently boost opportunities for people from low-income families to by allowing access to “low cost, no frills universities.”
“Those who want to attend the higher price sandstone universities with the sprawling lawns and sporting facilities and political activism and those sorts of things, that’s fine for those. But spare a thought for those on low incomes that just want to access a degree and get into the workforce.”
This, displaying a casual ignorance of the existence of the HECS scheme, and provoking all who gaze upon that quote to react in a manner thusly.
