In case you missed it in all the chaos of everything happening all at once, Prime Minister Scott Morrison admitted that he doesn’t know how many rapid antigen tests (RATs) he’s personally paid for over the pandemic. How? Because Jenny Morrison apparently buys them for him.

During a press conference on Wednesday where he announced that concession card-holding Australians will be offered up to 10 rapid tests over the coming months — but still refuses to make them free for everyone — he admitted that he doesn’t even buy his own private RAT stash.

“I’ll have to check with Jen, because she’s the one that goes and gets them for those situations,” he said.

“I mean, there are tests that the Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet have available, they make them available to the department staff… and I access them in the same way others might in circumstances.

“But when they’re being used for private use, pop around to the chemist or wherever she’s gone — I think recently she went to one here in Canberra — for that reason was able to eventually find one. Just like everyone else driving around looking to find one.”

Really starting to feel for Jenny here, who apparently has to go around to all the shops in town to find a precious rapid test for her dear Ratboy. The bus must still be running because Morrison keeps fucking throwing her under there.

This half-assed excuse isn’t the first time Morrison’s talked about getting his own rapid tests — in late December he regaled everyone with a story about him popping into a chemist in Terrigal on NSW’s Central Coast to pick up a RAT.

Except it seems he didn’t even do that either, with Sam Maiden over at News.com.au reporting that Morrison didn’t even shell out for that test, either. In fact, his chauffeur-driven government car pulled up to the pharmacy and one of his staff members ducked in to buy the test while he waited in the car.

So at this point, nearly three years into the COVID-19 pandemic, Scott Morrison has not personally tracked down and paid for a rapid test with his own money once. He likely hasn’t had to coordinate with his group chat to pick up extra RATs from one isolating friend to drop off to multiple other isolating friends. Jenny and his staffers do all the running around to make sure he can swab his little schnoz and watch the little lines pop up.

Bit fucked up he seems to get all his RATs for free but won’t commit to making them free for everyone else.

Rat’s off to ya mate, don’t try and align yourself with the rest of us.

Image: Getty Images / Rohan Thomson