NSW Health Grants Quarantine Exemption To North Pole Resident Suspected Of Mass Break & Enter

santa nsw health

I am pleased to inform you all that no pandemic, no matter how widespread, can stop Santa Claus from coming to town. The man truly cannot be stopped.

NSW Health confirmed the news via an official press release on Friday morning, clarfiying that Santa will not have to quarantine upon arrival in Australia.

“The global COVID-19 pandemic will not impede Santa or his helpers’ entry into NSW on 24 and 25 December, thanks to an extra-special “essential workers” exemption granted by the NSW Minister for Health Brad Hazzard,” the press release reads.

“This exemption has been shared with NSW Police to ensure Santa is able to travel freely and safely across Australia’s most populous state.”

However, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows for Mr Claus, who will have to follow strict social distancing measures, which probably means he won’t be getting shitfaced down at the local pub, unfortunately.

“Accordingly, this exemption will include the following precautions:

  • All presents will be delivered after bedtime to minimise contact;
  • You and your elves maintain 1.5 metres physical distancing should you encounter others;
  • If you are unwell, you get a COVID-19 test and isolate right away;
  • You and your elves must wash your hands regularly and carry hand sanitizer;
  • Wear a mask if you or your elves are ever unable to maintain physical distancing.”

Interestingly, Santa Claus himself is required to self-isolate after a COVID-19 test, proving that he is not on the same level as NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian. I’m not sure if this means Berejiklian is more powerful than Santa, but that’s huge if true.

I guess the good news here is that Christmas should be going ahead as normal for most Australians. Honestly, we all deserve to stuff our faces with beers and Christmas puds after the god-awful year we’ve all had to endure.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.