Ahh, New York City. The Big Apple. The concrete jungle where dreams are made, according to Miss Alicia Keys. Well, my dream has just come true thanks to this absolutely bat shit video of a brutal street fight between a pigeon (rat of the sky) and a rat (uhh, rat of the ground).

There’s not really a lot of context I can give you, but please choose your fighter: sky rat or ground pigeon.

There’s a whole lot to unpack here.

For starters, rats are metal as fuck. If this video teaches you anything, it should be to be nice to rats because they will quite literally bite your face off.

Honestly, as I’m writing this I am realising *just* how wrong I was for ranking rats third in the “pick two animals to defend you” meme.

Also, pigeons are shit. If you were on team pigeon, you should close this tab and never return to this website because you are officially dead to me (if my boss is reading, this is a joke).

But we also need to address the elephant in the room here: this New York man gives precisely zero fucks about beating a rat with a pole, but is so worried about the welfare of the pigeon that he literally asks him if he’s “okay”.

Ahh, what?!

As you’d expect, the video has since gone viral, with many dubbing it the most New York thing they’ve ever seen. Meanwhile, others pointed out that it’s only a matter of time before rats outrank us on the food chain and start eating our young.

It’s a rats’ world and we’re just living in it baby.

Image: Twitter