Prince Harry‘s new memoir Spare will officially drop on January 10 but a leaked copy has revealed, as expected, many bombshells.
The Guardian UK somehow obtained a pre-release copy of the book and spilled a whole pot of English Breakfast tea from its pages. There is *a lot* to unpack.
From brotherly rows to candid penis talk, this book has it all so let’s dive right into some of its biggest revelations.
1. Harry alleged his bro physically assaulted him during an argument
According to the Guardian, Prince Harry wrote in the memoir that he invited William to Nottingham Cottage — the not-so-humble abode on the grounds of Kensington Palace he used to share with Meghan — to talk about “the whole rolling catastrophe” of their relationship and whinge about the British press.
Willy reportedly started complaining about Meghan, which Haz obviously took issue with. They started arguing and Haz wrote that he offered his “furious” broski — who was swearing and slinging insults — a glass of water to calm down.
“He set down the water, called me another name, then came at me. It all happened so fast. So very fast. He grabbed me by the collar, ripping my necklace, and he knocked me to the floor,” Harry reportedly wrote.
“I landed on the dog’s bowl, which cracked under my back, the pieces cutting into me. I lay there for a moment, dazed, then got to my feet and told him to get out.”
Willy reportedly returned to the cottage “looking regretful, and apologised” and told Harry he didn’t “need to tell Meg about this”.
Well, I never.
2. Harry claimed William and Kate encouraged him to wear *that* Nazi costume
The year is 2005, Harry is 20 years old, and he’s just been rightfully scandalised by the UK press for attending a costume party wearing a Nazi uniform and a red armband with a swastika. It was bad.
The picture was taken at a “Native and Colonial” themed costume party, which William also attended in a homemade lion fit.
Page Six, which also obtained leaked segments of Spare, reported Harry wrote about tossing up between two costumes: a pilot or a Nazi.
“I phoned Willy and Kate, asked what they thought. Nazi uniform, they said,” Harry wrote.
“They both howled. Worse than Willy’s leotard outfit! Way more ridiculous! Which, again, was the point.”
So to be clear, the Nazi costume was Harry’s twisted idea, but he said Will and KM encouraged him to go through with what the 38-year-old now calls “one of the biggest mistakes in my life”.
3. Harry is not his real name
Yep, correct. Even though his family and the whole world calls him Harry, it’s not his real name.
The name on his birth certificate is actually Henry.
When he was born, it was intended that only his family and friends called him by his nickname Harry, or Harold, but the name quickly caught on.
Will’s nickname among family and friends is also Willy. Very good.
4. Harry’s penis
Apparently, rumours about whether Harry and Willy are circumcised have circulated for years. I for one have never heard this chit-chat nor am I interested. (Apparently I’m seriously missing out on the r/royalforeskin subreddit.)
But Harry has finally put the guessing to rest and Page Six reported the BOMBSHELL that yes, they are both circumcised.
Why? Who knows. Does it matter? No?
“There were countless stories in books and papers (even The New York Times) about Willy and me not being circumcised,” Harry reportedly wrote in the memoir.
“Mummy had forbidden it, they all said, and while it’s absolutely true that the chance of getting penile frostbite is much greater if you’re not circumcised, all the stories were false. I was snipped as a baby.”
Hold up… you’re more likely to get frostbite of the dick if you do have a cosy foreskin…?
5. Harry lost his virginity to an “older woman” who “smacked my rump”
Oh yes, more peen talk.
In his memoir, Prince Harry reportedly recalled in gory detail losing his virginity to an “older woman” who made him feel “like a young stallion”.
He wrote that the woman liked horses “quite a lot” and “smacked my rump” during the “inglorious episode”. I think he just ruined sex for me.
Harry said they boinked “in a grassy field behind a busy pub” and described it as a “quick ride, after which she’d smacked my rump and sent me to grace”. Bip bop, cheerio.
6. Harry thinks Will’s hair loss is “alarming”
Harry, who looks like a fuzzy turnip, reportedly took a swing at Willy’s looks and wrote his bro isn’t looking too hot these days.
He wrote that after grandfather Prince Philip’s funeral in 2021 he realized William’s resemblance to their mother, Princess Diana, had “faded with time” due to his bare noggin.
“I looked at Willy, really looked at him, perhaps for the first time since we were little,” Harry recalled.
He said his brother’s thin hair was “alarming” and “more advanced than mine,” though he’s only two years younger than Will.
7. Harry got on the booger sugar
Another long-discussed rumour is whether or not Harry ever used illicit drugs when he was a young party boy and he has reportedly confirmed he indeed huffed coke.
“It wasn’t very fun, and it didn’t make me feel especially happy as seems to happen to others, but it did make me feel different, and that was my main objective. To feel. To be different,” he wrote. Geez, heavy.
More revelations will no doubt be revealed when the book finally drops and more people have the chance to delve in. Stay tuned.