Two naked blokes in NSW supposedly had their sunbaking day ruined after a deer chased them into the bush which, through a convoluted series of events, saw them each wind up with a $1,000 fine for breaching lockdown. Classic Sydney, right?
The whole incident took place on Sunday inside the Royal National Park just south of Sydney, which you’ll remember is currently in lockdown. It’s a wild story full of twists and turns, so let’s just leave it to NSW Police Commissioner Mick Fuller to explain.
“Unbelievably, we saw two men sunbaking naked on a beach on the South Coast. They were startled by a deer, ran into the national forest, national park, and got lost,” he said at a press conference on Monday morning.
“Not only did they require assistance from SES and police to rescue them, they also both received a ticket for $1,000.”
🦌🍆🍑 TFW you and your mate sunbake naked on a beach, get startled by a deer, run into a national park and get lost, require SES and police assistance, and then get fined $1000 each because you breached Sydney’s COVID public health orders pic.twitter.com/U9q0ZD6oVM
— Ben Grubb 🐛 (@bengrubb) June 28, 2021
The two men, aged 30 and 49, told police that they had just been chilling on a beach near Otford and that it was a deer which made them run into a bush, and totally not a police patrol. One of them was naked and carrying a backpack, while the other was only half-naked. A totally normal explanation for a totally normal circumstance.
The dudes ended up calling for assistance at around 6pm, with the SES, NSW Ambulance and the cops’ own air support working to rescue them.
Before you start poking holes in their story by saying that deer are only found in Europe, Asia and the Americas, just remember that there is actually a serious feral deer problem in the Royal National Park. So their story does in fact check out to the extent that Bambi’s spawn plague this Earth.
What those blokes were up to in various degrees of nudity on a remote national park beach is anyone’s guess. And guess we did.
Let those among us who have NOT been startled by a deer while sunbaking naked and then run into a forest before getting lost requiring police to render assistance cast the first stone. #covid19nsw
— Adam Liaw (@adamliaw) June 28, 2021
Everyone who had naked sunbakers on a beach getting startled by a deer and running into the bush only to get lost and need rescuing – all in breach of NSW Covid-19 restrictions – on your 2021 bingo cards. Well done.
— Clare Armstrong (@ByClare) June 28, 2021
Give us a TV adaption already. This incident needs to be dramatised ASAP.
Hi. If you’re one of the naked deer guys please get in touch and I will do EVERYTHING in my power to make an entire @4corners about this incident.
— Lucy Carter (@lucethoughts) June 28, 2021
Really hope no one contacts the nude deer runner dudes. I do not want to find out they’re racist. Please. Just let me have this little slice of joy.
— Omar Sakr (@omarsakrpoet) June 28, 2021
These two blokes ended up being among 44 people in total who were slapped with $1,000 penalty infringement notices for breaching lockdown restrictions on Sunday.
You can read up on all the restrictions in the greater Sydney region here. Because the state government makes no explicit mention of nude sunbaking or deer, let this incident be a stern warning.